


The Stupid,  The Proud

by ImmoralAndDivine



Category: Naruto
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, But so is everyone else, Enemies to Lovers, Flashbacks, Grey asexuality, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Past Character Death, Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Revolutionary War, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Suicide, highkey living in tents, kakashi is a wreck, let's play a game of where's sasuke, past underage relationship, totalitarian government
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:02:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9341063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmoralAndDivine/pseuds/ImmoralAndDivine
Summary: The Uchiha's reign left the nation of Fire greatly divided.Years of rioting and unrest lead to rebellion, which only lead to further conflicts. Now, with the remaining rebels laying dormant throughout the hinterlands, Revolution seems to have come to a standstill.That is, until the Uchiha's youngest heir disappears.





	1. Things You Find

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!
> 
> So as this is my first time venturing into the world of writing, I'm not sure what to expect from my updating schedule. I have a few of these finished and ready to go, so I'm thinking weekly updates for now! 
> 
> This fic will be predominantly KakaIta, with some others on the periphery, and I'll be sure to add warnings/tags as needed. 
> 
> Title is taken from 'The Stupid, The Proud' by IAMX
> 
> So... On to the fic! \o/

Kakashi Hatake was nothing if not practical.

He was loyal to his cause, a good leader, and able to get things done. He was also skilled at keeping it to himself were those things inconvenient, or tasks that tended to leave a lack of volunteers in their wake. His determination to see to it that jobs were done (and done properly) had allowed him to excel within the social hierarchy he found himself, but also came with the unfortunate implication that he actually took joy in some of his less savoury of duties. After all, a kill was a kill. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Death was unavoidably in revolution. You take your hits and count your losses then hit back when it suits you; just make sure to have the right people for the job. Kakashi had learned quickly that too many of his old comrades saw death as a frivolity. They excited themselves over attack strategies, and congratulated each other on death tolls and casualties. He had thought that maybe he'd just outgrown it, couldn't agree with young attitudes of boys who hadn't lost enough to have the proper perspective, but he couldn't ever remember feeling that way, that death was something to be enjoyed, or celebrated. You protect your own, you fight for whatever it is you believe is right and good in this world, and you measure brutality with compassion. Always.

Compassion is not practical in revolution though, so it became a well kept secret. 

Growing up in a world where everything was off limits, constrained, controlled, had formed a generation that was equal parts horribly complacent, and dangerously insurgent. Fugaku Uchiha had done everything in his power to keep people afraid, but little by little civilians started protesting. Kakashi remembered it starting out as small things; when he was a child he would see his father helping people, just with minutiae, holding doors open, cleaning up for street vendors, leaving food out for the homeless. He said that in this world, being kind was an act of rebellion. His father had already died by the time his generations anti-establishment movement gained any semblance of organization, and unlike many orphans of their time, Kakashi was taken in by a couple of young hopefuls that wanted more for their world. Minato and Kushina were attempting their own organization of the people, and their close proximity bled into Kakashi's world. 

He remembered, just after his tenth birthday there being a noticeable change in the movement when the first son was born to the high family. The heirs birth felt like initiating a countdown to an explosive. The child was named Itachi, and in all the rebels bitterness they thought it incredibly appropriate. A weasel among weasels. As time went on however the child proved to be just that. Fussed over and useless in his inheritance, the rebels looked to other things and soon lost interest, maintaining their indifference when the second son was born no more than five years later. By that point there was much more to focus on.

Kakashi would go to rallies as a youth that always ended in police raids and disorder, he spent his teenage years wanting to watch the world suffer for having a father that killed himself trying to escape it. His involvement started out angry and untrained, until suddenly they were having secret meetings, hoarding goods, planning attacks. Their would-be gang of angry young adults going from tens to hundreds and being blacklisted as personal criminals of the high family. They were still so small time though, couldn't quite figure out the boost they needed.

Then they acquired a leader.

Kakashi's involvement had lessened around the time their own dictator came along, urged by concerned guardians to disengage. Choose peace. The movement caught on under its new leadership though, it became a force, a name; the rebel forces of the Will of Fire. 

But that's when the violence came. It felt like every other day some attack was made, it became impossible to find people that hadn't been effected by the rebellion. Children and families, hospitals and offices, nothing was off limits, whatever got the most coverage. Many people died. 

But then it got quiet; the defectors disappeared, along with their leader. Kakashi had heard the rumours, that they had gone into hiding until the right time, planning. Of course that's not what the government said. The news from the high family was that they'd won, the Will of Fire had been overthrown, there was once again order. 

Then one day Kakashi was informed that they would go off into the woods. He didn't ask many questions back then, just trusted Minato when he said that it was a new beginning. 

Now it was nearly four years later and the settlement that started with a mere twenty people now supported more than one hundred, with a second and third encampment scattered east and south of the original. The growing number of young hopefuls lived there lives pleasantly, but expectant. Kakashi didn't find himself socializing much these days, though the current clear skies of the winter day had left people bright and busy; foot worn paths in the snow frequented by residents traveling between canvas homes. It was nice to see the settlement so alive, with chatting and trading and even the odd children running past. It left Kakashi feeling proud and glowing as he made his way through the village. 

This peace was theirs. They had fought for it.

The area in which the camp sat was idyllic; surrounded by pines and oak that in the winter were dusted by snow, as they were now. The surrounding woods offered much protection from outsiders, their expansiveness both daunting and dangerous if not navigated properly. It also was ideal for hunting. Deer and an abundance of smaller creatures made their homes along side the defectors, and the plant life in the area was so rich, there was hardly cause to go hungry. It was safe here. It made it tempting to give up their fight. 

Kakashi new that it was dangerous to get too comfortable, though with so much to do, days like these hardly mirrored leisure. He still had duties to fulfill. 

He stopped at the outskirts of the camp, joined by two other men that had been on perimeter watch earlier that morning. They greeted him with cautious optimism, the one man addressing Kakashi with a friendliness that seemed out of place.

"Hey, Kakashi - coming to take over for us?" It was a pleasant drawl, and mostly banter if the crooked grin was anything to go by. Kakashi joined them where they stood in the shade of the tree line, hands firmly rooted in his pockets.

"What's the matter Genma? Can't even handle a simple shift on lookout?" He shot the man a companionable look, smirking behind the dark mask shielding him from the biting air. 

Genma huffed out an exasperated sigh, looking up to the sky melodramatically.

"You got me Kakashi, guess I'll have to be relieved of all present and future duties." His friend only tsking in mock disapproval at his side.

"Ma," Kakashi waved him off, "I'll just have to find you a replacement; I think that kid over there would do just fine." Genma deflated at the comparison.

"Cutting as always, huh Kakashi.." He received a sympathetic pat from his comrade, Kakashi taking the chance to debrief the two on his regularly scheduled excursion.

"Routine check; I shouldn't be more than a couple of hours. Kurenai and Asuma will be out shortly to relieve you of your post." His tone took on a sullen edge.

The two men nodded, eyes firmly set on their captain. They knew how to take orders. 

Kakashi gave one last parting look, then began to make his way past the tree line, into the woods. 

It was darker beneath the canopy, the forest floor dusted with snow and beneath that crisp foliage. It was peaceful though, and Kakashi thought it ideal for a morning look about. He had the fleeting thought that he perhaps was under dressed, but the hide cloak draped over his shoulders offered surprising warmth. He pulled the hood up over his head in a moment of suspicion however. It was easy to feel like you maybe weren't alone in these woods. Kakashi had experienced multiple encounters with wayward townsfolk and bandits while out on patrol, and he was of the firm belief that you can never be too careful. Not during revolution. 

He fought the urge at times to feel guilty for leaving the settlement. He knew it was in good hands; it's not like he was at the top of the small government structure they had, though it was a definite reassurance knowing who was now. 

The rebels in their early days had been a handful of trouble makers that got the attention of an infamous man of established political standing. He was well known among the common blood to be anti-Uchiha. His name was Danzou Shimura. He organized the would be rebels into a terrorist cell, and the movement took on an inherently violent motive. Many people died in the first years of the uprising, and their leader showed little remorse for civilian losses. It was soon decided, after a crude attack made on one of the Uchihas estates that resulted in the deaths of four children that had been used as crusaders, that Danzou was to be overthrown. He went into hiding before anything ever came of the mutiny, but it left room for a far more respectable leader to step in.

Kakashi was thankful knowing that his mentor, the man that raised him for a good portion of his young life, was the man looking over the camp and those who lived there. He couldn't have gotten on board with a leader that was ill intentioned. 

Minato Namikaze was soully and whole heartedly determined to achieve peace within the Land of Fire. His methods were as clever as they were heartfelt, and he had a no-corruption policy that was fiercely enforced. He was widely loved by both the civilians that sought refuge in the camps and also the young men and women fighting for his cause. 

His wife and son lived in a more secluded camp just east of their main base. Kakashi often made trips out to see them, bringing word of recent happenings and keeping Kushina up to date on current plans. She was a force of nature, and Kakashi always remembers her lessons on hard work and perseverance from his youth fondly, sees it mirrored in her own son now as he's gotten older, still a child but just as impressively motivated as his parents. 

Kakashi finds himself caught in that nostalgia, thinking of their family. His family. 

It almost distracts him enough for him to miss the soft skittering of frozen leaves in the distance. 

Kakashi's reaction is instantaneous. In a moment he's crouching down among the snowy brush, sheltered by thick overgrowth. He listens intently, attempting to pinpoint the source of the noise. He closes his eyes, briefly, taking a breath, scenting the cold air around him. It's perfectly silent now, but his eyes open, staring off in the direction of his target. Then he's on his feet, soundlessly ducking around low branches and through peaceful streams carved out in the frozen earth. 

And then he sees it. A singular drop of crimson in the snow. 

His first instinct is to look up, but nothing hides above him in the trees. He scans his surroundings, following the lone trail of red through the winter white. Kakashi freezes in the opening of a clearing, knee deep in the cold as he stares at a small form hunched in the snow. He wills his legs to move, fatigued by the cold but warmed by adrenaline. It takes about ten steps to reach the figure, laying still in the presence of soft smears of blood. Kakashi thinks for a calming moment that they may be dead, but he can see the tell tale shallow breaths from the small body, and that's when he realizes, this isn't a threat.

It's a child.

Without hesitation he's moving towards them, kneeling at their side, gently rolling them from where they lay face down in the snow. His breath stills as he stares down at the boys unconscious face, not a child but a teen, dark lashes falling against pale cheeks, rivaled only in contrast by the long dark hair splayed out across the snow. 

Kakashi knows that face, has seen that same dark hair on every threat he's faced since rebelling from the Uchihas tyrannical reign in the Land of Fire. But he takes one look at the young man lying in the snow, bloodied hand loosely held to his abdomen, clothes loose and worn, and he knows. He's about as dangerous to Kakashi as frightened deer are to a rabbit. Dangerous by association. 

A warning sign. 

In the next moment Kakashi is leaning forward, lifting the featherlight teen from the snow, noticing in his absence the small bundle of belongings left in the cold. He grabs it without much thought, and with one last look to the boy in his arms, begins his hike back to camp. 

He was certain they could get something useful from the Uchiha. 

 

 

Both Asuma and Kurenai stood watch just within the tree line. The last hour had gone by slowly from when they had traded off with Genma and Hayate, and the warm light of the noon sun was a welcome distraction from the quiet day. 

"When do you think Kakashi will make it back?" Kurenai brushed her dark hair away from her face, sparing a glance at the man next to her.

"Who knows," Asuma shrugged, "He's taken hours looking around out there before. Could be a while; guess it all depends." 

The two exchanged knowing looks, holding each other's gaze for only a moment before their attention was drawn by the sound of movement from the woods. Kurenai's immediate response was to reach for the dagger kept at her side, but upon seeing the shock of silver hair that emerged from the brush, her nerves calmed.

"It's Kakashi." She sighed, relieved, but as soon as their alertness ebbed it was back again.

"It looks like there's someone with him." They exchanged worried looks, and just as they thought to move towards their comrade, Kakashi halted their movement. 

"Get the medics." It was rushed, coming out in a harsh breath.

Asuma turned swiftly, hurried as he made his way into the camp. Kurenai moved along side Kakashi, looking over the boy in his arms. She freed his hands of the small bundle of belongings, keeping pace as they moved towards the medical tent in the centre of the settlement. Asuma was already there, ready with two others that took the teen from Kakashi's arms, laying him on the small examination table. The three had the sense to move aside as the medics got to work. Standing in the entrance way, the rebels watched as the teens heavy cloak was removed to reveal the bloodied shirt beneath it. The fabric was quickly cut away, peeled back to expose the wound that hid there. Asuma turned to Kakashi, eyeing him carefully.

"What the hell happened out there?" His tone was low, equal parts concern and confusion. 

Kakashi just stared ahead at the unassuming body.

The commotion had already drawn a small crowd, civilians trying to figure out what was happening, and it wasn't too long before a familiar face was at Kakashi's side. He felt his friends presence before he spoke.

"Who is he?" The question was softly spoken and inconspicuous; they knew each other well enough for Tenzou to be sure that Kakashi wouldn't have been in such a panic if it wasn't important.

"Did you -"

"No." Kakashi took a breath. "I found him out there, on his own, in the snow." 

He kept his voice low, watching as one of the medics began dressing the wound. "We need to notify the council." Finally he met Tenzou’s gaze.

"He's one of them."

Tenzou's brows furrowed, his expression turning serious.

"Understood."

 

 

No more than an hour later Kakashi found himself seated among the rebellions dignitaries. Minato sat at the centre, hands folded formally over the dark oak of the large roundtable, the movements elder Hiruzen Sarutobi to his left, and Shikaku Nara the resident strategist to his right. The pavilion was dimly lit and completely closed off from the outside, warmth permeating the space from a pit containing a small fire at the centre of the roundtable. Kakashi couldn't help but feel unusually severe in the current company. 

But that's why they were here. 

"So what are we to do about the boy." Hiruzen was first to speak.

He was a first choice when the elites of the rebellion were originally discussed, was even involved back when Danzo was in power. Kakashi knew him to be a pragmatic and diplomatic man, even having lived through a time when the Uchiha and the common blood weren't at such great odds; he often told stories to the encampments youth about an Uchiha he grew up alongside who was a dear friend of his. He took any opportunity to humanize their enemies, though Kakashi wondered whether that was always for the better. 

Though, he supposed he could sympathize. 

"He'll need to be questioned," Shikaku's tone was understandably final; he had lost his family in an early act of retaliation against the civilians ten years ago and had been wholly committed to the cause since. Kakashi wasn't sure his exact motivation, but he trusted the man. 

"We won't be getting any answers until he wakes up," Kakashi leaned back, "If he even does." 

Minato was silent, a thoughtful concentration set in his features as he listened to his advisors.

"Do we know what harmed him? Did he perhaps escape from another encampment?" Hiruzen leaned forward, elbows propped on the tables hard edge. 

"No, we would have been informed if any captives had been taken. Besides, I wouldn't put it past them to kill their own kind if it meant tying up loose ends." Minato fixed his eyes on Kakashi, wanting to disagree with the statement. "Though that wouldn't explain how he got so close to our base."

Their leader breathed a troubled sigh

"It's a predicament, that's certainly true." He looked to Shikaku, "is there any chance he was planted here?" 

"Like a spy? Well, I'd say that's most likely." He laughs then, humourless. "It's not as if we've never fallen for it." 

Hiruzen frowned deeply, "So we'll be holding him until we can do proper questioning, but where will we keep him? We're not equipped to house prisoners of war." 

"You're right, and we'll worry about that when he comes to, but for right now the infirmary will have to do. He's under watch, so the moment he's awake we'll know." Kakashi shook his head slowly, "Though that doesn't solve the issue of where we'll keep him if this turns into a long term commitment."

"If no other alternative presents itself there's always the option of trading him for intel." Shikaku paused, "Though, I'll be honest, making contact at this point, when we're still cementing a plan, feels far too risky."

The three other men nodded solemnly.

"So we'll wait. There's nothing to be done at the moment anyways." Minato's eyes flickered between them. "Kakashi, you'll handle the questioning. By the off chance that he is in fact just a kid that got lost in the woods, he'll feel more inclined to trust the one who saved him."

Kakashi nodded, gloved fists clenching beneath the table. 

Saved him, he thought. Why did I do that.

"We'll convene at a later time, there will be many questions that need answering." Minato rose then, accompanied by Hiruzen. Kakashi watched the men go, trying to let the limited information sink in before he too was standing to leave. 

When he stepped out side the sky was dark, nothing illuminating the camp save for a sliver of moonlight, and as he slowly made his way back to his quarters, the night air chilled his masked face and bare fingers. Kakashi had always found the cold to be so insidious; back when he was still in the city, the temperature always felt so bearable, like the cold couldn't reach you past all those people and places. Now though, in this small encampment, more than a day from the nearest town by foot, the chill of winter seemed to be everywhere. 

Kakashi had just come upon his dwelling when footsteps approached behind him. He turned to find Tenzou moving towards him, a franticness to him.

"What's going on?" He stilled at the look in his friends eyes.

"It's him." 

Kakashi stared back.

"He's awake."


	2. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who we get to meet this chapter!
> 
> Alright well, sorry for the delay, and I hope it's been worth the wait! 
> 
> Cheers!

Kakashi had instructed Tenzou to stand guard outside, the medics being quick to leave upon his arrival. He had taken a steadying breath before entering, hands pushing through the pliant canvas in a cautious motion. He wasn't keen on being the one to rally the troops, or address the masses, but one on one was a different story. This meant answers. This meant being one step closer to a better world. 

Kakashi watched as the canvas gave way to warm lamplight; shadows danced across the floor, reaching out towards the centre of the room where the small examination table stood, and atop it sat the boy. Thin legs hung from the tables edge, bare feet perfectly still in the flickering light, and as Kakashi followed the line of the young body he found that same small hand with fingers ghosting delicately over fresh bandaging, the other pressed against the smooth wood of his perch. He took two steps, earning the teens attention, and watched as long dark hair spread across pale shoulders. Kakashi paused just past the threshold, locking eyes with the Uchiha.

"It's alright," he forced reassurance into the words, "I'm not going to harm you." 

The teen stared across the room at him, eyes blank.

"I know." His voice struck Kakashi, firm and low. "You wouldn't have brought me here if you were."

The confidence in the words surprised him, and if he was any less committed to staying on the teens good side he would have laughed.

"I just have a few questions. The sooner we get through them the sooner you can get some rest; I'm sure you're tired." Kakashi could play diplomat. A kid hardly posed any challenge in an interrogation, unless they got scared. Easier to keep them calm and compliant.

"I know you probably have many." Those blank eyes continued watching him, locked onto the single eye that narrowed at that same steady tone.

"You seem to know a lot." Kakashi dropped all pleasantness from his voice.

He watched carefully as the teen shifted on his perch, gathering his hair over one shoulder in mock disinterest. Black eyes wandered over the mans form, calculating, and it was all Kakashi needed to square his shoulders, ready at any moment to reach for the knife at his side. 

The Uchiha were skilled in combat, most lower members of the family being used as soldiers in the revolutions unending conflicts. It was dangerous to assume that the teen would be any less capable. A long moment passed between them then, silent and tense. Kakashi wondered if the teen would say something, and just when he thought to break the silence, the boy spoke.

"I'm sure you're curious if I know anything of importance to you." His dark eyes were still so empty, and Kakashi almost felt pulled into their depth as he watched dark lashes flutter once, twice -

"Or perhaps you're wondering if I'm even willing to share." There was a taunt in the words, and Kakashi suddenly felt foolish for having underestimated the Uchiha. 

He felt a tightness in his gut, and a viciousness that had him suddenly moving forward, deliberate steps bringing him within feet of the table where his captive sat, unmoving. 

"Tell you what," Kakashi leaned into the others space, not even a foot between them as he ground out the words, "I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen, and when I ask you a question, you better hope you have a satisfying answer for me. Understood?" But the teen just stared back with underwhelming intensity. 

Then in another moment he gracefully inclined his chin, asking coolly, "What would you like to know?"

Kakashi slowly backed away, gently leaning against a counter littered with medicinal objects, his eyes not leaving the others for a moment. 

His mind was racing, and there were so many questions. Kakashi searched for something conclusive, something concrete that would help him piece this all together. He watched the teens face carefully, studying his cold eyes, the slight furrow at his brow. His dark lashes bleeding into dark irises surrounded by smudged bruises of purple that had no business being where the brightness of youth should have been. He looked tired, and Kakashi knew he did too. War tended to have that effect on people. 

Then he found a question.

"Why were you so far from the city." 

There wasn't any more false pretence between them, and the question was answered promptly.

"I'm looking for someone." 

"Who."

"A child," Kakashi watched those empty eyes flicker with something that almost resembled concern. "My brother."

"I'm suppose to believe that you think a child could survive out here?" His tone was severe, but the teen was undeterred.

"He's only eleven, but very smart." Kakashi watched as that small hand crept back to the gauze at his side. "I was able to track him this far until I came upon one of your traps."

Kakashi hummed, still caught by the thin fingers worrying at the covered wound. How many people had died by those hands. "So if I was to check the area, I'd find one activated?" He watched the boy give a singular nod, then asking, "Why did he run off."

There was a pause then, and Kakashi wasn't sure for a moment if he'd receive an answer. He traced the others downcast gaze, noticing a tightness in the teens face.

"He's adventurous." Black eyes flickered up to meet his once more. "Children like to explore." 

Kakashi knew it was a lie, but doubted he'd get anymore out of him. He decided to let it be.

"Eleven huh?" His eyes narrowed, "How old are you."

"Sixteen." 

And just like before, his tone and blank stare were an impervious fortress. Kakashi was beginning to think he wasn't going to get anything useful from him. 

"The only reason I'm still here is to find my brother." Those words weren't like the others though, they weren't a challenge or a threat. If Kakashi didn't know better he would have thought they almost sounded desperate.

"And you expect us to help you?" He scoffed, "You've got to be joking." The teen just stared at him, as unmoving as before. Kakashi had the feeling he wasn't joking in the slightest. 

He sighed sharply, turning to walk away from the other.

"You'll stay here, until we can figure out what to do with you." Kakashi paused, his back turned coldly on the teen. "If you try to leave, you’ll die."

But just before he could leave the teen spoke up.

"I think it's fair to warn you, that there will be people looking for me…”

Kakashi stared ahead, breath shallow. 

_Looking for him?_

He turned slowly, dread welling inside him as he met the teens eyes.

Sixteen. Couldn't have been more than an infant when the movement started making plans. Kakashi wracked his brain for any faint memory. Had he watched that young face through static monitors. Had he familiarized himself with every little detail linked to that family. A boy like him would've been so small at five, six, seven, but would have had plenty of time to grow in the ten years spent hiding. 

"Who are you?" 

The look he received was chilling, empty and all too aware, and the anticipation left Kakashi's pulse beating a heavy tattoo in his veins. 

The teen hesitated for a moment, his eyes holding an undeniable honesty, and then he spoke.

"I am Itachi Uchiha."

 

 

The news of who their captive was had reached the rebel leaders with such urgency that it left little room for planning or calculation on what would happen next. Once again the camps diplomats were seated around one another, a charged intensity between them that hadn't been present before. 

Kakashi had relayed the information as concisely as possible, explaining to them the younger heirs involvement as well. 

"We find ourselves in possession of the immediate heir, Itachi Uchiha, and informed of the recent disappearance of the young heir, Sasuke Uchiha." Hiruzen was still from where he sat, cane gripped firmly in his hands.

Shikaku muttered dryly, "It seems our only option is to find the kid and see to their immediate disposal." 

"No," Kakashi cut in, "Itachi Uchiha will have been well aware of our intention, and the moment we locate the brother, he'd be sure to disappear without a trace." 

"A search effort was mentioned for them, so it seems our options are limited." Minato folded his hands before him, "If searching for the boy will keep Itachi Uchiha complacent, then we have no choice but to conduct a search of the outlying areas. His good favour will put us in an ideal position for bargaining with any team sent to retrieve him."

"The risk of violent repercussion for making contact with the Uchiha is extremely high, and we will need to prepare for such a reality, but our present goal is to locate Sasuke Uchiha, and in doing so create a dynamic that will lend its self to future advances." The men watched their leader, taking in his words.

"If we commit to this, they will remain in captivity indefinitely." Shikaku reminded.

"Is there any sense in inciting them in such a way? We don't have the power to fight a full scale attack. If the Uchiha find out where we are, we will be the ones being disposed of." They couldn't let impulse cloud their judgment, and Hiruzen knew this all too well.

Kakashi sighed, long suffering in the knowledge of what he was about to say.

"So we'll search for Sasuke Uchiha, and upon his recovery we will detain them both as prisoners of war." His eyes fell shut, thoughtful. "The Uchiha will have their suspicions, but that's all they’ll have. Our camp is mobile. It's not ideal, but if need be we have an exit strategy." The men all nodded in agreeance. 

Minato was quick to catch his gaze. "What do you think the chances are of gaining intel from him?"

Kakashi contemplated this for a moment, leaning back in his seat.

Itachi was desperate, that was obvious enough, but he was also smart. He'd probably be able to see through any form of coercion they may try on him. Kakashi wondered briefly about the men sent to find him. Were they even looking for the younger brother? If Itachi had felt forced to go after him alone, what possible situation could have led to Sasuke's attempted separation. Why had the two fled so carelessly?

"I don't think we'll get anything out of him. He's guarded, and too quick for us to try and trick him into divulging any crucial information." At this, Minato hummed, understandingly crestfallen.

"Also, he’s regained most of his strength; soon enough he'll be able to be comfortably mobile. We need to decide what we'll do with him in the interim." Kakashi watched his mentor closely. "If we're to attempt to gain any semblance of trust from him, then we can't exactly lock him up." 

It was silent between them for a long moment. Volunteering to house the heir of the most influential clan in power was daunting, and Kakashi knew to expect some backlash from the point he had just raised. 

"I'll appoint teams of two for watch. Shift work, split into day and night. He'll have freedom to move within the confines of his quarters, but constant surveillance will eliminate the threat of escape or attempts to make contact with possible allies." Minato locked eyes on Kakashi, adding with a note of finality, "Kakashi your quarters will be designated his temporary residence. You're the most capable if anything were to go awry." 

It took all Kakashi had to nod at the order and utter a resigned 'yes sir'.

The men were then dismissed, the events of the day having left a deep exhaustion in all of their minds. Kakashi was exiting the pavilion for the second time that night when he was halted by Minato.

"May I have a word?" And of course Kakashi complied, turning to face the man.

Minato looked tired, though he still maintained the brightness in his eyes that Kakashi had become so accustom to. He stood then from his own seat, moving towards Kakashi with a casualness indicative of their familiarity. It was a small comfort, but it still managed to smooth some of the edges of Kakashi's nerves. He watched as Minato reached out towards him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I know this next little bit isn't going to be easy. You've taken so much on over the last few years, and I know I've asked a lot of you, but, you can do this, and I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to make sure we maintain all we've worked for." Kakashi looked into those blue eyes, not finding a single indication of doubt in Minato's words.

His hope was staggering. It left Kakashi feeling inspired, momentarily blinded by a youthful sense of belief. Although through his realism, all he could manage was a tired smile at his mentor. Minato retracted his hand then, watching Kakashi turn to leave once more, but he was calling out to him again before he could stop himself.

"Kakashi." The young man didn't turn to face him however this time. "We have plenty of able men to take over watch so, make sure you get some rest." He tucked his hands into his robes deep pockets, smiling as he added, "I don't think we'll need you tomorrow. Better take the day off so you don't get in the way."

All he received was a quick glance over his shoulder, and then Kakashi was gone into the cold night air.

Who knew what these next months would bring.

 

 

Kakashi had, for a very brief moment that morning as he woke up, considered doing as he was told.

The idea of a day off was tempting. He had fallen quite far behind in his reading, and leisure was an increasingly novel concept in their small community. He should take the day to organize, get things together for his soon to be guest, get himself together. He scanned the room, solitude leaving his left eye free of its usual obstruction; He'd need to get back into the habit of covering it at night. But there were some things that would be more difficult to hide. 

Kakashi pushed the thin covers aside, sitting up in the very place he had awoken hours earlier, shaking, palms sweating as he willed the terror of his dreams away. He couldn't help the scowl that set beneath his mask as he pulled himself from his bedroll, staring back at the mussed sheets. He knew his reality. This wasn't isolated, never was, but as far as anyone else knew, as far as Minato knew, these nights were remanence of his past that he had shaken years ago, with all of the brilliant coping mechanisms of a teenager at war. He remembered the shame of freezing up on missions, pleading to their leader that he could do this, he could fight, he was fine. He should have been past this all by now. So he kept it to himself. He wondered how long he’d be able to now.

Kakashi could have told Minato that he thought it was a bad idea, could have offered an alternative or sided with his comrades suggestions of extermination. He should have, but he didn't. 

_Well_ , he thought, _hopefully the kid’s a heavy sleeper._

Days off, as he had heard but rarely experienced first hand, were perfectly enjoyable, but as Kakashi hastily retreated from the sanctuary of his tent, he found his concern for the present situation far outweighing any yearning for leisure he may have had.

There were still many things that needed sorting, and the young man that had wandered into their world was an unwelcome demand. Kakashi knew that Minato was right, that they needed to keep him falsely content while he was in custody, but putting effort into finding the lost boy felt like distraction. There was however somewhere Kakashi could think to start looking, and his investigation led him through the camp, coming upon a large pavilion with canvas doors spread open in the early sun. 

He watched from a short distance the children sitting at their designated matts beneath the structure, warm breaths marking their chatter in the cold air; between the excited socializing and sporadic movements of their youth, Kakashi almost missed the man sitting among them, smiling and watching over their lively group. Kakashi hadn't become too familiar with this place over the years, didn't really need to. He understood the need for education and enrichment of the local children, and when Iruka had so willingly offered to oversee the council had little argument, but Iruka was just that way, was fond of the children in a way that was beyond Kakashi. He actually liked their company, didn't experience the overwhelming dread that welled up within the other man.

As Kakashi watched the class he couldn't help but think what an awful responsibility it was. How easily Iruka could let them down. He felt dread twist in his stomach, and decided to not think on it anymore. 

He continued his observation though, and it wasn't long before he was spotted by the other. Iruka smiled upon approaching him, though it was tight, and if Kakashi thought about it, he'd almost venture to say it seemed disingenuous.

"Not coming to recruit my ten-and-unders are you?" It was hidden behind a sociable laugh, but Kakashi knew unease when he saw it.

"Please," he waved off the other, "Do you have any idea what kind of reconditioning i'd have to do? I'd send them into battle and they'd end up making daisy chains for their enemies." He let his eyes narrow at the edges, flashing a relaxed smile from beneath his mask.

Iruka hummed, looking out over the children.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Kakashi cast him a sideways glance; he knew Iruka wanted peace just as much as he did. He knew, just like himself, that Iruka was an orphan of revolutionary war, and that instead of hiding his heart away, it left the man raw and far too feeling. He also knew though, that practicality and compassion weren't mutually exclusive, because above all the other things Kakashi knew, he knew intimately the compelling power of grief. 

"I actually am here to ask about a young boy that may have come through." He turned his full attention to the other man, eyes turning serious.

"By the off chance that we may have missed him," he pulled the crumpled photo from his back pocket, having lifted it from the teens belongings the day before. "Have any of your students mentioned seeing anyone in the area?"

Kakashi handed the image over, Iruka pausing only for a moment before taking it. He took his time inspecting the boy, brows furrowing disappointedly as he looked up once more. 

"No, I'm sorry." Kakashi was quick to pocket the photograph, unsure of where to go from there.

Iruka cast a long look at the other, a sudden breeze pushing between them, ruffling the mans short ponytail. He looked thoughtful for a moment, gazing out at the children before speaking. 

"Who is he?" 

Kakashi stood firmly in the cold wind, hands rooted in his pockets. He contemplated explaining the situation. After all, despite Iruka's inherent soft spot for the children, he was still a trained member of their organization. Though Kakashi had the feeling he'd get a most impressive lecture on the questionable morality of detaining a sixteen year old. He decided perhaps it wasn't the time; Iruka would be informed shortly on all he needed to know. At least this way Kakashi could avoid the headache of an overprotective parent. 

"It's just a tip off we received. Keep a look out, if you could."

Iruka simply gave a curt nod before Kakashi was wandering off in the direction he came. 

Disappointed in the results his visit yielded, Kakashi wondered if they'd simply resort to sending a search party. It rose some red flags thinking of sending his most able members off into the woods while the encampment sat waiting for whoever would come looking for the young heirs, but there were no clues, and definitely no signs of the boy having even been out their way. Kakashi recalled Itachi being rather adamant that he had been able to track his brothers movements as far as he had, but was that enough to go off of? It hardly felt like it.

Kakashi still wasn't confident in Itachi's story. There was something too easy about the two having run off the way they did. It was too convenient. Though when he thought of it, he supposed there was no better time to clarify than now. Besides, he still needed to break the news of the teens imprisonment to him. Kakashi sighed exasperatedly, looking up to the clear sky as he walked. 

That should be fun.

So he looked ahead, eyes fixed on the heavily guarded tent that currently housed their captive, and he decided to make a quick detour to the camps well. Fresh water seemed like a good peace offering after all. He filled his canteen, hands chilled by the breeze that kicked up, and wondered for a moment when he started doing favours for political prisoners. But it wasn't a favour, it was strategy. He still needed to get a better idea of what the teen was capable of. If it came down to it, Kakashi needed to know if we could overpower Itachi. He definitely outweighed him.

Kakashi wasn't a heavyweight by any means, but he was strong. It had served him well in his youth when conflicts had been less politics and more violence, but he wasn't that young rebel anymore. It had been years since he had to rely on any kind of physical prowess, and some small part of him that he wouldn't admit to was hoping it would stay that way. As he entered the medical tent, waving the stationed guards off, one look at his captive left Kakashi with the feeling that it wouldn't be a problem. 

Itachi was sitting quietly on the ground, a large charcoal knit wrapped around his body like a cloak; his bare feet were visible from just beneath its hem, and Kakashi couldn't help but think how cold they must be. Itachi glanced up at the other upon his arrival, but Kakashi watched those dark eyes linger on the canteen slung over his shoulder, following it hypnotically as he moved further into the room. He'd be lying if he said he missed the way the teens tongue darted out over dry lips.

How long had it been, he wondered.

"I brought you some water." In the end, mercy won out over justice, and in a quick motion Kakashi tossed the canteen to where Itachi sat.

His eyes revealed nothing as he watched the teen react half a second too late, the canteen passing through his hands and hitting the floor with a dull thud. 

_Slow._

Itachi reached out, pulling the canteen towards him, fingers fiercely gripping the marred plastic as he pulled the stopper and brought it to his lips.

_Trusting._

Kakashi's eyes didn't leave Itachi as he watched him make quick work of its contents, taking in a shaky breath as he wiped a dark sleeve over his wet chin.

_Impulsive._

Extending his arm, Itachi handed the canteen back, except when Kakashi reached to retrieve it, he didn't let go. They locked eyes, both still gripping the plastic. It was only a moment later that Kakashi felt a slight pull at the canteen, Itachi moving to get his feet beneath him as he moved to stand, using Kakashi's weight to pull himself up on shaky legs.

Kakashi stepped back, taking in the emaciated teenager who stared back at him, the picture of innocence. 

_Clever._

Kakashi was quickly clearing his throat, feigning disinterest as he moved across the room, passing Itachi and coming to lean against a desk in the far corner. If he was being perfectly honest, he wasn't looking forward to transferring their guest to his private quarters, but doing what he was told, despite discomfort, was something Kakashi was very good at. He took a drawn out breath, closing his eyes and leaning more comfortably into his perch; he could feel the other watching him.

"So, there's good news, and there's bad news.." His tone was a disinterested drawl, customary to any dissatisfying situation the man found himself in.

"The bad news, your living arrangement has changed." He looked up at Itachi's worn expression, expecting resistance but finding none. "You'll be moved to my quarters, where I'll be able to keep an eye on you." 

"And the good news?" Itachi moved to lean against the examination table, mirroring Kakashi's relaxed posture, though from his clear fatigue it was more necessity than comfort. 

"We'll be sending out a team in hopes of locating your brother." The statement earned a look from the teen that was cautious optimism at best.

Kakashi watched as Itachi pulled the dark sweater tighter around his body, and only now that he was standing did Kakashi realize the garment hung down past the boys knees, almost meeting the hem of his pants, the standard navy blue attire so typical of his family. For a moment Kakashi thought to himself how out of place Itachi looked, awkward and uncomfortable in his surroundings, scratching at the sweater where it rest above his wounded side. Without much thought Kakashi turned around, rooting through the cluttered mess of boxes next to the desk, producing Itachi's belongings from the pile. He slung the teens small bag over his shoulder, holding the boots he'd found on him in his free hand.

"Watches have already been stationed outside, and I expect you to be on your best behaviour between here and your knew residence." Kakashi moved towards him, pushing the boots into his unoccupied hands, then motioning towards the exit invitingly. "After you."

Itachi stared hard at the other for a moment before setting his jaw, turning stifly and leaning down to pull the boots on before wandering outside. 

Kakashi walked closely behind the Uchiha as they made their way out into the daylight, nodding at the two men stationed just outside the infirmary. He watched silently as Itachi surveyed the settlement, regarding the civilians as they walked past, unknowing of who their most recent neighbour really was. Kakashi wondered when Itachi gazed at the tree line with a long look if he was thinking of fleeing, or perhaps willing his eyes to remove all obstacles between him and his lost sibling. Kakashi also wondered if Itachi would remain as silent as he had proven to be during his short stay. Ironically, he thought this just as the teen began to speak up.

"Do you always wear that mask on your face?" He didn't look at Kakashi, just continued walking in the guided direction. 

When he didn't receive an answer though, he added, "I thought it perhaps was just for the cold, but that wouldn't explain why you're wearing it now." He paused, glancing up at the sky. "Is it a precaution? Or are you usually so mysterious." Oddly, none of the questions sounded like questions, and Kakashi felt a surge of annoyance at the entitled curiosity in his tone.

"Trust me, you're not that special." He made a conscious effort to keep his eyes ahead, noticing how the snow had almost completely melted away by the time mid day rolled around. 

"And what about that eye you're hiding." But that definitely wasn't a question, and Kakashi turned a pointed glare at the teen as a warning just as they reached their destination. 

Itachi slipped inside without another word, receiving cold looks from the rebels now standing guard, though he seemed completely unaware of the negative attention. Or unfazed. 

Inside Kakashi watched as Itachi moved forward into his home, every step feeling like more of an intrusion, like the demon heir could contaminate the space just by standing in it. It reminded him that this space wasn't his anymore, that he had to share it with this creature that he hated. 

When Kakashi looked at him he couldn't help but see every awful reality his family brought into the world. He remembered every face of every friend he’d lost, and all the destroyed lives and broken systems that were direct results of the ideals of the people he called family. If Kakashi could look past his selfishness he'd be able to admit that those things weren't embodied by this single person, but it was still his world, still his beliefs. What reason did Itachi have to see things any differently. What evil had he welcomed into their world?

"You should have died out there." 

Itachi stood in the centre of the space, back turned to the other and perfectly still.

“I'm glad you're finally being honest, you at least owe me that." It was that same arrogant tone as before, bitterly nonchalant.

_I owe you nothing._

Kakashi wasted little time in collecting Itachi's belongings into his arms, along with a thread bare blanket and spare bedroll, moving towards the other just to throw them at his feet. Itachi turned at the show of hostility, clearly offended, but all he received from Kakashi was a painfully neutral expression. 

"Make up your bed, and when that's done I'll see if I can find you something to eat." It was an order, and Itachi had a whole second of looking horribly insulted before he schooled his expression into an impressive deadpan. 

He bent then, kneeling to gather the things thrown at his feet, looking up at the other man through thick lashes. Kakashi wondered what would await him if the Uchiha ever did manage to be rescued. By the look in those dark eyes, he'd guess something entirely too unpleasant to even think about. Itachi then slowly rose to his feet, turning gracefully and walking across the room to its far corner where he proceeded to set up his belongings. Kakashi noticed that he couldn't have been further from the others set up, but that also meant that Itachi was furthest from their only source of heat. He'd either end up renouncing his pride, or freeze. 

Somehow, Kakashi thought the second option was more likely.

"There are probably some extra clothes around here somewhere, they'll at least be a bit warmer than what you have on you." He moved across the room, beginning to rummage through a chest tucked beneath other belongings.

Opening the chest he found blankets and clothes and other miscellaneous items; Kakashi pulled a plain black shirt from the pile, the cut of it instantly identifiable as one of Tenzo's old tops. He paused, wanting to smile but holding back in his current company. In the end he selected two other styles and a heavy wool cloak, shutting the case and turning back to where Itachi now sat, knees pulled to his chest. 

"These were all my comrades, back when he first moved into the camp." Kakashi approached the other, tucking the clothes beneath his arm as he began unfolding the cloak. 

Itachi eyed the other, raising a thin brow.

"Did the two of you live here?" 

Kakashi's eyes snapped up to meet the others, staring at him incredulously.

He just shook his head, disregarding the question.

"He was pretty young at the time, but, all these may still be a bit big on you." Kakashi threw the garments down next to the teen. "You're a bit of a runt." 

Itachi had the sense to look displeased by the comment, but when Kakashi offered the cloak to him, he only pulled the large sweater tighter around his body.

"Take it. That rag's probably four sizes too big." Kakashi dropped the cloak into the others lap, unsure of how the teen even came across the sweater. 

"No, thank you." There was a hard edge in his voice, and Kakashi watched as Itachi gripped the worn fabric in his pale hands.

A wave of suspicion washed over him then, Kakashi's fists clenching at his side. 

"Take it off." 

Itachi bowed his head though, silently protesting the demand. They locked eyes, but instead of it feeling challenging, Kakashi was surprised to find an edge of alarm in the look. 

"I'm not hiding anything." Itachi offered a sincere expression, arms rearranging themselves in a show to remove the oversized sweater.

"But I won't part with this _rag_ ." He slid the knit down over his shoulders, parting it at the front to reveal an innocently bare t-shirt, nothing noteworthy save for the classic family crest stitched into the fabric. "It was a gift from someone very important to me." 

The tone of his voice told Kakashi that it was the end of their conversation. He sighed deeply, hand cocked on his hip as he tried to think of an excuse to be anywhere other than here. That's when he remembered his promise to the teen. It had probably been too long since he last ate anything. 

"There are four men stationed just outside; I'm going to see if I can get you some food." He turned away to leave then, pausing in the door way to mutter a patronizing 'behave'. 

 

 

When Kakashi returned, though the sun had now given way to the early darkness of winter, Itachi was still sitting on his bedroll, an old familiar looking book now in his hands. He had changed in the mans absence, having chosen a pair of tan full length pants and a black long sleeve cowl-neck. He had also at some point procured a piece of red twine that now held his hair in a neat ponytail laying down the centre of his back. Kakashi also couldn't help but notice the dark framed glasses that rested at the tip of the teens nose. 

"Found you something to eat." Itachi mustn't have noticed his arrival, hurriedly removing the glasses as he startled from his reading. 

Kakashi crossed the room, placing the small wrapped portion of bread and greens on the ground between them, sliding it into Itachi's outstretched hand. Itachi wasted little time in unwrapping the cloth surrounding the food, picking off a piece of the dense loaf before pressing one of the peppery leaves to it and fitting the bite into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully, looking very pleased as he repeated this for the next few bites. He paused then, meeting Kakashi's watchful eyes.

"Thank you." His voice felt uncharacteristically soft, and the words caught Kakashi off guard. 

He grunted a short reply, offering Itachi the refilled canteen before wandering over to his side of the room. For the sake of how wonderfully silent the other had gone, Kakashi pretended to be very interested in the floor, eyes following the woven patterns of the rug beneath his feet. The colours were all very earthy, tans and rich dark yellows and reds. He wondered what it was made from, studying the weave, the roughness of the fibers. Probably wool; Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he saw a sheep. 

The next time he looked up, Itachi had neatly set aside the cloth and canteen, opting instead to watch his guard stare at the floor. He allowed himself for a moment to be watched. 

Itachi’s motives were still unclear; he was literate and unusually civil, both traits that made his nobility obvious. However Kakashi remained unconvinced of the teens seemingly indulgent upbringing. The council would no doubt have questions. He still had some himself.

Itachi was still watching him quietly from across the room, and though the look was inquisitive, it lacked any obtrusiveness. He was all long dark eyes and unmarred skin, with small hands and fine bones and quiet footsteps like he weighed nothing at all. How does a tyrants heir grow to be so soft and unassuming. Kakashi felt as if the universe was playing some elaborate joke on him. He suddenly remembered though, the time he trapped a stout deep in the woods.

He'd been hoping for a rabbit, but that day when he was checking his traps they all came up empty. He knew they had at least gotten close, because all around the traps tufts of fine white hairs littered the ground. He'd assumed anything that was caught had just managed to get free, until he came across the final trap. The stout was so calm, sitting back in the wire cage looking quite at home. Just this mousy brown rodent, little black eyes staring up at him, but here too Kakashi had found those tufts of fur. Only this time they weren't just littering the ground. That sweet stout had as much fur on it from the rabbits as it did their blood.

He couldn't blame the creature; a caged rabbit was an easy meal. But people weren't rabbits, and he wouldn't offer his enemies such helpless prey.

Kakashi wouldn't be helping anyone by being soft, so council would be called, and plans would be made. 

"Get some sleep." He turned towards the door abruptly. "And try to remember you're being watched."

He didn't look back before walking out, and though so much of him said to stay, keep an eye on him, don't let him out of your sight, Kakashi knew that he had much to discuss with the council.

Why he thought he'd have a day to himself, he'll never know.


	3. Bared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did hope this chapter would be longer but life's been real crazy, friends.
> 
> But hey, STUFF'S HAPPENING!
> 
> *stares at these dumb boys*
> 
> Enjoy!

Kakashi was starting to think that his life had become one never ending political discussion. This really only worried him for the singular fact that he, like the other three men sitting around him, was prone to singleminded extremism, and the idea of running into battle with proverbial guns blazing had started to sound far too bothersome at his age. Though he figured after his history of blind obedience, the day he showed up with a shattered psyche and bad knee, they'd probably just put him out of his misery. 

Here's hoping, at least. 

He folded his hands over the tables hard surface, looking out at his superiors. They'd decided that conflict with the Uchiha, especially now after locating one of the estranged heirs, was unavoidable, and most likely to get messy. They knew they needed a game plan that would put them ahead in strategy, seeing as to how their man power left much to be desired. They had planned for this though, had been storing and saving and training for it. It was simply a matter of assembling the troops. 

"It's clear we're not going to be able to sway the boy to our side," Hiruzen closed his eyes thoughtfully, leaning back. "Maybe it's best to simply use him as a bargain."

This choice clearly displeased their leader though, and Kakashi watched a look of resolve settle over Minato's gentle features.

"I'll speak to him. Maybe then he'll -"

"No. Absolutely not." Kakashi's words were rushed, almost alarmed. "We can't risk you showing your face now. What if somehow they know who you are? For all we know he could have been sent here to kill you." The feeling of foolishness that his outburst cost him was quickly brushed off; he would never allow Minato's life to be endangered by someone that wasn't worthy of his trust. 

Though despite his sound logic, their leader still regarded him shrewdly. Kakashi had the sense not to feel insulted. 

"I see your point." Minato took the time to look disappointed, though it didn't stay for long, instead being replaced by his trademark determination. "I believe Itachi Uchiha will cooperate with our efforts."

He looked out over his council, a hopeful smile blooming across his face.

"We have the benefit of complete anonymity: the Uchiha can neither locate us or estimate our current power. We'll conduct a search for Sasuke Uchiha, and cut a deal for the two to act as our informants." He paused thoughtfully. "I know it's difficult in the face of loss, to believe that every person in this world wants and deserves a stable, safe existence, but now, clinging to those beliefs is more important than ever." 

"We must have faith in the new generation, to be forthcoming and peaceful in their conduct. We must also encourage progressive communication in place of old world conflict, and that starts with trusting these youth with our dreams, and our mission." He nodded then, proud and sincere.

Kakashi thought it perfect the way the flickering lamplight caught in Minato's eyes, and as the others around him nodded and hummed their agreeance, he knew that change would be achieved as long as the Will of Fire continued to burn bright.

But their moment of inspiration was cut short when their voice of undeniable reason spoke up.

“We still have questions that are unanswered. How do we know that the boy is even missing? This could all be a ploy to leave the camp open to an attack.” Shikaku’s face was drawn, and there was a tightness in his words that Kakashi could only assume was a trained response. This however, did not deter Minato, who nodded, an equally trained and tired motion that was much more placating than agreeance.

Sitting with these men, speaking and being questioned and then explaining and speaking some more, after the years had become tired to them all. Minato knew the importance of appeasing his comrades and now council, in fact, he wandered at times if it was the reason he found himself here in the first place. His palms felt hot where they were pressed to the rough wood beneath them, any air between the heated skin and surface humid and uncomfortable. The levelled stares from his council were a contrasting coolness, and while he moved the words around in his head, his eyes landed on the young man to his left; Kakashi only stared ahead, eyes distant.

He didn't move his hands.

“You're right, we need to fact check if what he says is true.” 

Hiruzen spoke next, eyes closed, slanted in thought as he worried at his pipe. “What resources do we have?” He sighed deeply, untroubled as the smoke swirled into the air, rising and splaying out until it left the pavilion dim and hazy. “Our last man among their ranks was executed three years ago. We have no informants left.” His voice was hoarse, decades of stress and smoke, but there was a lilt to it that insinuated more than age.

Kakashi's eyes snapped to him, suddenly focussed.

“Are you suggesting we send in a new team?” Kakashi knew it wasn't a question though. He knew the old mans intention, but an argument would solve nothing, so Kakashi centres himself. Tries to ignore the poisonous dread that burns in his stomach and the sharp pulses in his chest. 

_If it comes to that_ , he thinks, _I'll protect my team._

“That seems an unnecessary risk,” Kakashi turns to Minato, feeling the tension steadily drain from his body at his words, and the older man gives him a knowing look before continuing, “There must be another way; do we not have anyone left in the city?” 

“No.” Shikaku shook his head. “The last station dissolved shortly after our separation, when their captain was taken into custody.” His eyes landing on Kakashi.

“Wasn't that Rin Nohara’s team?” Hiruzen regarded Shikaku, following his gaze to Kakashi as well. 

But they don't need to answer.

 

_“Are you up for the responsibility of leading your own team?” Hiruzen sat across from the girl, studying her with an air of skepticism._

_She nodded, a single definite motion. “Yes sir, I am.”_

_Hiruzen turned to the blond next to him, thinking him much too young to be making such decisions. Minato smiled back, proud and bright._

_He sighed deeply, “It seems a waste to put such an exceptional medic out in the feild like this. Are you certain this is the right choice, Minato?”_

_“I am.” He assured, looking to the brunette across from them, “Rin’s instincts have been a vital asset to us, and her reasoning capabilities are on par with Shikaku Nara.”_

_Hiruzen hummed thoughtfully. He knew the boy. An underrated genius if there ever was one, though he'd been changed by the loss of his young family only a few months earlier. Hiruzen wondered if he could ever be much use to them now._

_He looked back at the young woman, no more than eighteen. There was a light in her that radiated determination, and the sense of hope in her youthfulness was a harsh reminder of his own age. Hiruzen realized, when he looked at her, that it was difficult to deny that she seemed truly good._

_She would be a loyal asset, no doubt._

_“Very well.”_

_He couldn't help but feel the smile that bloomed on her features proved her naivety._

_Upon receiving her new posting and details about her team that would be stationed back in the city, Rin struggled to maintain a calm exterior as she walked out into the brightness of day._

_The camp around her was meagre, and could barely even be called that, but the familiar faces of her comrades were always a pleasant sight, and it didn't take her long to spot the boy standing waiting for her just a few feet from the tents opening._

_“I’m being stationed in the city.” She smiled at the silver haired boy, a carefulness in her tone._

_She watched him cross his arms tightly over his chest, brows furrowing as he looked out at the tree line. Her smile faultered as he turned to walk away, though she was quick to follow._

_“They say it's safer in the city now that we’ve left. I guess nobody is starting fights anymore.” She tried to sound carefree, smiling over at him again in an attempt at lightness. She wasn't sure which of them she was reassuring._

_“Be careful out there, don't do anything stupid.” Rin startled at the accusation, but easily laughed it off with a soft hum._

_“You know, the amount of faith you have in me is pretty heartwarming Kakashi.” She watched him bristle, keeping pace as they neared the outskirts of the camp._

_“Whatever,” Kakashi scoffed, pulling a whistle from his pocket and giving it a silent blow. “I just don't want to be held responsible if something goes wrong.” Rin heard excited barking in the distance, and as the sounds drew closer she lowered her gaze to the damp ground as they came to a halt where the forest began spreading out all around them, the spring air coming off the trees fresh and fragrant._

_“I'm serious Rin.” The barking got louder._

_She looked up at him, a dazzling smile on her face._

_“When are you not?”_

 

“Well that leaves us with only one option,” Minato sighed, resigned. “- we'll plan an infiltration mission to retrieve the needed information regarding Sasuke Uchiha. This isn't an attack; we don't want any unneeded attention being drawn to us. It’ll be clean, in and out.” His tone left no room for argument. It was meant to be a strictly peaceful retrieval. They were expected to be ghosts.

Kakashi still felt his stomach turn.

“What about their defences? We have no idea the layout of their bases: How many men to expect, weak spots, nothing. We'll be going in completely blind.” Shikaku rattled off his disagreeance unapologetically. 

_There's another way…_

Kakashi stole a breath.

“No we won't.”

 

 

Kakashi had been attempting to ignore his new roommate, despite feeling razor eyes on him every move he made to shove supplies into his napsack with what could be considered excessive force. It was only the usual, a compass, some rope, and extra cloaks for the the other settlers, all tucked alongside the note Minato had given him to pass along to their eastern encampment. He grabbed his knife, strapping it to his hip and grabbing one last cloak to set aside for his journey, still feeling those sharp eyes on him.

Itachi had been quietly reading when Kakashi had returned from the council meeting, sat back on his bedroll, legs crossed beneath him comfortably. He made no conversation and had simply watched the other from behind his book as he began to pack. 

Kakashi wouldn't leave until morning though, and as he heard the soft sound of a book being placed down he knew he'd not be able to beat a hasty retreat.

“What do you do for enjoyment around here?” Itachi sounded equal parts bored and inquisitive as he spoke.

Kakashi wasn't sure the point of small talk, but given his most recent orders, he knew he'd need to start playing nicely with their guest.

Though he didn't spare the other a glance as he set his bag and cloak aside for the morning.

“Really though,” Kakashi turned to watch the Uchiha, catching a glimpse of dark hair before it was pulled up into a haphazard bun. “I'm not sure the best coarse of action is keeping me locked away.” 

Kakashi deadpanned, “This isn't summer camp; you're a prisoner of war. You realize that, right?” His tone was biting, though Itachi was not deterred.

“I appear to have excellent accommodations for a political prisoner.” 

Kakashi's fists clenched at his side.

“Would you like me to fix that?”

They held each others gaze for a moment, the younger finally looking away to lay back, staring up at the vaulted canopy. Kakashi took the opportunity to steady himself, stiffly moving over to his own bed and attempting to talk himself into resting. He'd need to be up by dawn, and seeing as it was their first night sharing this space, he had the sinking feeling that he wouldn't be doing much sleeping. 

“It must not be very enjoyable being locked away with me.” Itachi’s voice was deep and gentle, Kakashi could almost imagine it was sympathetic, and when he looked over at the lounging Uchiha, the soft lines of his profile were turned upward still towards the canopy, as if he was trying to look through it.

Then he remembered who he was talking to.

He huffed out a laugh, humourless, “Do you always talk this much.”

Itachi was quiet a moment, rolling the words around in his mouth, musky like old paper yet shockingly fresh. He imagined he could see the stars through the thick canvas.

“I’d rather be a riot than indifferent.” 

Kakashi shot forward, fingers twisting in his sheets, anchoring himself so he didn't launch across the room. His eyes narrowed and brows pulled together, practically snarling.

“What other belongings of mine did you take the liberty to go through?” His hands twisted further into fabric.

Itachi turned to meet his eyes, reaching for the book he'd placed down earlier, calmly sliding it across the floor where it quietly rested at Kakashi’s feet. A familiar cover with an even more familiar name across it.

“I was only curious about the rhetoric used against my family. Propaganda can make for very compelling writing,” Another calm explanation. “I am a bit surprised though,” He fixed Kakashi with a penetrating look. “I didn't take you for the romance type.”

But before Itachi could react Kakashi was across the room, clawing hands pulling him from the bed, and when Kakashi felt resistance he held fast. Forced the Uchiha towards the only exit. 

The cold air shocked their skin as they burst out into the night, startling the two guards stationed outside the entrance. They froze, unsure as they watched Kakashi all but drag Itachi from the tent and subsequently throw him onto the frozen ground. He took a step back, chest heaving. He waited, watching the Uchiha push himself up onto his knees, one hand planted in the snow, the other pressing to his still injured side. Kakashi swallowed the feeling creeping up his throat.

“Get up.” He barked.

Itachi was careful in his movements as he got his feet underneath him, righting himself to stand shakily in the cold. He turned to the other man, meeting his furious gaze.

“Did you really think I'd believe your story? A stupid boy lost in the woods looking for his brother? You think I'd believe that the son of a nationalist warlord would be an unassuming, gullible weakling?” Kakashi took a threatening step towards him.

Itachi did not take a step back.

Kakashi moved forward again, stopping only a foot from the other to breathe, “Show me who you really are.”

Itachi saw the knife in his hand before Kakashi even moved. He struck out at the Uchiha, but the moment he was within reach Itachi’s hands circled his wrist and forearm, thin fingers digging painfully into flesh. Before he could react Kakashi felt his weight being pulled to the side, twisted and off balance. A leg swung forward, hooking around his calf and pulling him further from his target, and suddenly his weight shifted again, a quick pressure and then falling. 

Kakashi hit the ground, hard.

Before he could blink Itachi was there, pressing down on him, a knee to his chest and his own knife gently pressed to his throat.

He laughed bitterly, “I knew it.”

There was shocked silence from the guards, still frozen at their posts, and just as they thought to react, Itachi raised himself off the other, throwing the knife down in the snow beside him.

“I didn't want to do that, but you left me no choice.” And then he was walking away back into the warmth of the tent. 

Kakashi took his time getting up, grabbing the treacherous knife before standing. He told himself he was only shaking from the cold. He shot the guards a silencing look, and then turned to take in his remaining audience.

Minato stood on the other side of the clearing, having been roused by the commotion the initial struggle caused. Kakashi's blood burned inside him, shame and anger and _gods_ – he turned away, the disappointment on the older mans face was too heavy a weight. 

Kakashi forced every step back to the tent, not looking back.

When he stepped inside Itachi was laying in his bed, back turned to the other. Kakashi took the opportunity to dim the lamps, shed his mask, and hide beneath his own covers.

He hoped in the morning this would all just be a dream.

 

_When Kakashi opened his eyes he saw blood._

_Red smeared teeth and lips pulled back into a smile with reassuring words and his hands were sticky and dark red red red –_

_He felt hands at his shoulders gripping, holding him there, and his hands where they shouldn't be because he didn't mean to it was an accident he thought he was one of them._

_Except he is one of them, but he's Obito first. They couldn't ruin him, he was too him._

_But he twisted the knife before he realized, tried to stop the bleeding but it didn't help. He can't fix it and he doesn't know what to do. If Rin were here she would know, she could fix it._

_But she's not and Kakashi just presses against his stomach, and he can't see from his left eye, he just keeps saying I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Red doesn't suit you._

_‘Shut up’, he says, ‘just fucking hold me.’_

_So he does. Kakashi holds him, presses his lips to wet lashes and that red stained mouth until it stops smiling, and then even after. Holds him until someone comes along and pries them away from one another._

_He tries to get them off of him but everywhere he touches turns red._

_‘He's gone, Kakashi - he's gone! We can't stay here, we need to go!’_

_‘Kakashi!’_

“Kakashi –“

His eyes snap open. He feelshands on him, shaking. He grabs them, pulls and pushes until he doesn't feel afraid of them. His breaths are coming in short ragged bursts, and it takes him a moment to focus his vision, but when he does he feels tension beneath him and he looks down.

Itachi is breathing heavily beneath him, trying to escape the weight above him and the pressure on his arms from where Kakashi is pressing them against his back. He looks up at the other through his dark hair that's mussed and trapped beneath his face that’s half hidden by the sheets he's pressed to. Kakashi thinks he looks alarmed.

“What –?” He says dumbly, still not letting the other go.

Itachi sucks in a breath when Kakashi presses down with more force.

“You were having a nightmare. I was –“ he stops himself, gritting out, “I was trying to wake you –“

It takes half a second more for Kakashi to come to his senses. As quickly as he was on the Uchiha he's standing, backing away from the bed as Itachi quickly gets up, rubbing at his now sore wrists.

“You said my name, how do you know my name?” His words were still a bit breathless, but he knew Itachi understood them. 

He knew because he watched the teen freeze, perfectly still, like if he moved Kakashi would catch him.

“I thought it was you before, but seeing you without the mask –“ Kakashi's breath caught in his throat, eyes wide.

His hand flew to his face, tracing his brow, eyelid, cheek, lips, chin...

Kakashi's hand fell to his side, and he moved with practiced ease as he gathered his things and walked from the tent, but not before bending to grab the forgotten mask and slipping it over his head to fix it in place.

He can deal with that later, but first, he had much to tell Kushina.


	4. Makeshift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you SO MUCH to the people that have been leaving so many lovely comments and kudos. It's really made this a positive experience for me so far, and I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am! <3
> 
> Alright, on to the drama, also, I'm so glad I had an excuse to write Kushina in! \o/

Minato watched as Kakashi made his way across the camp towards the tree line. The cold air of early morning settled around him with a comfortable stillness, and the sun had finally begun reaching out over the trees. The warm light seemed to chase Kakashi as he stepped beneath the shadowed canopy, and from where he stood, Minato thought he could still make out the crest stitched to the back of the mans cloak. He wondered briefly what it might still mean to Kakashi, thought maybe he could guess, but the boy he had met all those years ago had grown too much, too quickly, Minato wasn't sure he was even recognizable by now. 

The version of him Minato saw the night before certainly wasn't.

He had seen Kakashi fight, had spent years by his side. He'd seen him disarm and incapacitate threats with a skilled precision that was emotionless and exact. What he saw last night was the opposite. Minato couldn't know what set him off, and while the shock of Kakashi's actions were still so fresh in his mind, they were over shadowed by the subsequent reaction of their guest. 

They knew to expect a trained soldier, but when the Uchiha arrived at camp he exhibited none of the typical traits of his comrades. He'd been agreeable and cooperative, made no demands other than the gentle suggestion of a search for the lost brother; Minato still wasn't sure what to make of the boys disappearance. He thought he may have an idea though, and the uncertainty he felt as he approached the shared quarters had less to do with the impending introductions than the possible information he'd receive.

Minato nodded his dismissal as he passed the men stationed outside, the pair quick to untie the canvas fastenings before motioning for their leader to enter. The canvas fell shut heavy behind him, once again shielding the space from the chilled wind, followed by the crunch of retreating steps on the frozen ground. 

Minato waited until they were alone to speak.

“Hello, Itachi.”

 

 

Kakashi could feel the weight of his pack as he moved through the forests thick undergrowth. He hoped the limited supplies he had brought would be of some help to the eastern encampment, but as the chill pressed in around him, not having ebbed beneath the shadow of the canopy, Kakashi knew they'd need more if this long winter didn't end soon. 

The little snow that was left crunched beneath his feet, and it wasn't long before the trees began thinning and more light broke through the now bare branches, evergreens slowly giving way to dormant oaks and striped birch. Kakashi stopped then, kneeling by the stream that ran through the valleys sparse clearing. Knowing his way around these woods had taken time, and many nights camping among the trees after taking to many wrong turns and running out of daylight. It was easier with the dogs, they always knew how to get home, and it was safer to travel with them when he was younger, but Kakashi knew it would be best to learn the surrounding areas without the benefit of a keen sense of smell. He needed to be realistic after all. 

It was then that he heard the familiar sharp sounds of barking in the distance, and Kakashi was quick to fill his canteen and get back on his feet. 

Unlike their base to the west, the eastern encampment was shielded by a mix of tall conifers and deciduous, enough room between them to have six or so wooden lodges built. The cabins were more permanent than the bases tents. They weren't for practicality, and Kakashi felt instantly at home when he saw the woman standing in the nearest cabins doorway, beckoning the dogs inside with a commanding tone. 

Her long hair was an open flame against the desaturated colours of the forest, vibrant red, pulled back into a simple ponytail that rested over her shoulder, and as she turned to greet Kakashi her smile shone almost as brightly.

He was ushered inside with little time for pleasantries, and as dogs circled around his feet, tails low and wagging with familiar excitement, the woman motioned to a chair that he carefully sat in. Kakashi placed his pack on the sturdy wooden table, using his now free hand to jostle the nearest hounds ear, moving quickly to give the next a couple solid pats on its flank. The cabin was warm and Kakashi took a moment to enjoy the shelter and his company, the redhead watching him fondly as she placed a bowl in front of him on the table.

She circled around it and seated herself across from him.

“They're always so happy to see you.” Kushina crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back in her chair. Kakashi finally looked up from the dogs, catching sight of her just in time for the redhead to look around in a moment of panic as she searched the room. “Did he not come in with you?” She questioned the canine at her feet, but the pug just offered a disinterested snort.

Kushina sighed irritably, opening the door for one of the others and sending it out with a commanding ‘go find’. She sat herself back across from Kakashi, leaning forward.

“That boy’s going to be the death of me.” She blew out an exaggerated huff, grinning to herself, then she was leaning back again, eyes settling on Kakashi. “It's good to see you,” she smiled, “How have things been on your end?”

He tried to return the smile, but he looked away then, face falling. 

_Where do I even start…_

“That good, huh?” Kushina laughed to herself, suddenly motioning to the table. “Hey, don't be rude! Eat what I put in front of you.” She made a vaguely threatening gesture, Kakashi only just realizing the bowl of stew sitting before him, fragrant and thick. He recognized the potatoes and carrots instantly, but wondered what the shreds of dark meat may be.

“I think maybe I should –“ but he was cut off, Kushina rolling her eyes.

“Food now, talk later. Don't give me any attitude young man.” Kakashi deflated at the admonishment. 

“You're only fifteen years my senior.” He picked up the spoon, looking at the food suspiciously.

“That's right! Fifteen years on this planet knowing better than you.” She nudged him with her foot under the table. “Now eat up.” 

Kakashi was just about to take a bite when on cue the last dog burst through the door, dragging a pouty ten-year-old behind him by the sleeve of his oversized sweater. The blond glared at the pooch as he walked over to the table of his own accord, opening his mouth to complain to his mother when he noticed Kakashi sitting across from her.

“Oh hey! When did you get here? Is my dad here too? What's been going on? Have you guys been doing lots of super secret stuff?” The words tumbled out of his mouth faster than Kakashi could process them, and just as he was deciding which to answer first the blond gasped loudly. “Oh boy is that food? Can I have some?”

“Naruto.” Kushina instantly caught his attention, motioning for the boy to sit beside her.

She was quick to serve them both and the three ate in companionable silence, with Naruto happily chattering about how pretty everything looks in the snow and how ‘did you know that toads go to sleep in the winter like bears, isn't that cool’. Kushina paused between bites to say how a toads heart even slows down so much that it stops and they freeze, but that once spring comes around they thaw and come back to life, Naruto's eyes widening comically as he exclaimed how amazing it all was. Kakashi placed his spoon down, smiling behind his mask as he watched the two talk, both so animated. 

Naruto was quick to finish his food, pushing away from the table in a fast, clumsy motion as he stood and headed back towards the door.

“Hey, don't go too far, alright? And be back before it’s dark!” Kushina blurted out before Naruto ran out the door. “Take the dogs!” She shouted after he’d already fled the cabin, once again sending the pack of dogs after him. She fell back into her chair with a sigh.

“He's a handful.” Kakashi drawled, clearing the dishes away and placing them in the kitchens small basin.

“I guess it's my own fault; he certainly didn't take after his father.” Kushina hummed thoughtfully, closing her eyes and taking a breath. 

Kakashi sat back down across from her.

“So there's been a development.” He unclasped his bag, retrieving the letter Minato had written, solely meant for Kushina. She took it from his hand with a quiet ‘thank you’, tucking it away in her apron for later.

She turned her eyes back to Kakashi, waiting.

“Three days ago I was out for a routine watch. I found someone that had been injured in the woods, and I took them back to camp.” Kakashi tapped his bare knuckles against the table, fingers unfurling to trace the woods grain. “Except it wasn't just a lost civilian. It was Itachi Uchiha.” 

Kushina was silent, watching Kakashi's face with an uncomfortable intensity.

“We treated his wounds. He didn't take long to wake up, and I questioned him the first chance I had.” The wood was rough, scraping at the pads of his fingers as he dragged them across its surface. “He said he was looking for his brother, who reportedly went missing. I got the impression that he ran away from the compound, but I'm not certain.” Kakashi's eyes remained on the table, still rough under his touch. 

“He's been placed in my quarters. We're planning to get any kind of Intel that we can from him, and we’re waiting to see if he'll cooperate. I'm meant to gain his trust, get the information that way.” The night before flashed in Kakashi's mind, and he felt a sharp sliver of wood pierce his thumb. “I've not been very successful so far.”

Kushina sucked in a breath, thinking of what to say.

She seemed to settle on something, as she folded her hands in her lap.

“What's he like?” Her voice was gentle, but openly curious.

Kakashi scoffed, pressing his thumb into the sharp bit of wood, surprised when no sensation bloomed across the nerves.

“He's quiet.” He bit out, brow furrowing. “He thinks too much, talks too little. When he does say something it’s suspiciously neutral.” His jaw clenched. “He reads all the time. He has long hair and he's so scrawny.” His thumb pushed down harder until the sliver sunk deeper into his skin, prickling painfully. “He's nothing like –“ 

The hand placed over his made him freeze, and part of him was glad for it. It meant he didn't have to find out where that thought was going, and as he pulled his hand from the table, away from Kushina’s warm touch, he felt a different heat rise in his face. 

Hot shame settled in him. 

_What were you going to say, huh? Nothing like who? How could you even think that? Stupid, stupid, stupid –_

“He sounds easy enough to get along with.” Kakashi's eyes snapped to Kushina.

“I mean, how old is he now? Still young I bet. He’s a kid; I'm sure there's something the two of you have in common.” She shrugged, catching his gaze with a look far more serious than her blasé tone.

“I,” Kakashi tried to piece his thoughts together. “I guess.” His chest felt tight, and he blew out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Kushina just grinned back at him, pleased.

“There you go! I bet the two of you would have lots to talk about.” She chirped, voice strained. “After all,” She started, smile fading from her face. “We’re all human, isn’t that right?” 

Kakashi thought his heart wasn't beating quite so fast anymore, and as he nodded he let out another breath. He stood then, quickly stating, “I think I should start heading back.” He pulled the extra cloaks from his bag. “I brought these for whoever needs them.”

Kushina watched him wearily. 

“You could stay, you know. I think the dogs have been missing you. I know Naruto could use someone to show him around the woods.” She stood slowly, watching Kakashi throw his bag over his shoulder when she stepped towards him. “Have you been sleeping?”

He turned towards the door, leaving her to frown at his back.

“I'll be back if anything changes. Thank you for the food.” Then he was pushing through the door, heading back out into the woods.

As Kakashi left he saw the dogs chasing one another, yipping and whining, and he could hear Naruto happily babbling to himself loudly in the distance. He shook his head fondly.

_Kids._

 

 

It was burned into Kakashi's memory by now. The trek back to camp was a two hour, uphill journey. This normally is fine, especially since he recently had such a hardy meal, but Kakashi felt unusually heavy after his conversation with Kushina.

He kept replaying it in his mind. Kept getting stuck on it, like the feeling of searching for a word that's at the tip of your tongue. You know it off by heart, it's right there, but your brain just keeps going in circles, skipping over it every time until you feel sick with it.

Kakashi knew they were all human; it was the ultimate commonality, but it didn't smooth down all the edges of his nerves. His distrust was deeper than that. 

Everything was their fault. That was the mantra, that's what he'd told himself, what every angry, impassioned underdog had told him since he was just a child. It was all a giant list of how those people ruined their lives. Except it wasn't that simple.

Kakashi knew that what happened to Rin was his fault. 

He knew it didn't make sense to send her out there. He should have said something, should have gone in her place. Maybe then she'd still be alive, maybe then he'd still be alive. They may have killed her, but Kakashi let it happen. 

And Obito –

_Obito._

Kakashi stopped, reached out blindly beside him. His hand pressed against the trees bark, rougher than the table but still something. Something real, something he could touch that was really there. He took a breath, smelling pine and the cold air. He thought he could maybe see the ice crystals in the air, could feel them as he sucked in another breath. 

The last rays of evening light hit his eyes and when he closed them he saw the lopsided grin and messy dark hair and bright eyes that were dark too. He could hear him laughing, loud. 

God, he thought it was the most obnoxious sound he’d ever heard. 

He'd wrestle him to the ground just to get him to shut up. And he had, numerous times. As kids it was normal to beat the hell out of each other just for fun, and Kakashi always had aggression in abundance back then. 

He was angry at the world, and Obito was never angry at anyone, especially not Kakashi. 

Before people started rebelling, Obito spent all of his spare time with Kakashi, and then with Rin. The three were together so often that Kushina and Minato just got into the habit of keeping extra beds made and making extra food. After all, none of them had any parents. 

It was different after the protests started. 

Obito would sneak out of the compound to show up to rallies and meetings, then later after being caught one too many times, he’d just leave when everyone was sleeping, stay close by. Kakashi would meet him at the river that ran behind the compound; it split the city, the bridge across linking the civilians to the countries numerous clans, and they'd just sit by the water and watch the city until Obito had to leave again.

Kakashi doesn't remember Obito laughing quite as much after that. 

Instead he started talking about changing the city, and his family and everything. He'd talk about how unfair it all was, and that he didn't want to live in such a sad unfair world, that instead he would change it. He'd talk for hours about their broken world, it started to wear Kakashi down. Obito was sweet, and good. This new bitter creature that he'd become was wrong, and Kakashi suddenly had a new reason to pin him down and shut him up. 

He remembered shoving the other, playfully at first, but when Obito shoved back Kakashi knew there was nothing playful about it. Then it suddenly became harsh words, and bared teeth and when they hit the ground together it was sharp knees and grabbing hands and like a prophecy Obito had blood on his face that wasn't his. But this time Obito had his hands on Kakashi's face and in his hair. Eventually Kakashi couldn't tell whose hands were whose, and he was stealing breaths that weren't his long after his mask had been torn off.

He remembered turning his face from the other, pushing at his chest until Obito let him, rolling off of the other as they loudly tried to catch their breath.

They never talked about it after, and Kakashi was glad for it.

Looking back Kakashi knows how Obito must have felt about him, thinks that he felt the same way, only different. But it didn't matter anymore, because the only place Kakashi could touch him now was in his dreams, where he has blood on his face and Obito is telling him _shut up, just fucking hold me._

He thinks maybe he can make it better this time.

And when he wanders back into camp, wondering how he got there and where the time went, he thinks he knows a pretty good place to start.


	5. Well Kept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was a wait.
> 
> There's a little Itachi perspective worked into here, because ya boy had some stuff to say apparently.
> 
> Thank you for hanging in there with me! I hope this was worth a wait.
> 
> Major thank you to anyone/everyone who's kudos'd/subscribed/commented!! It seriously puts the wind in my sails! Much love!
> 
> Feedback is love! <3
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Ps. Tenzou getting excited about plants!!!!

Ch.5

The clear sky hung overhead, bright in a way that Kakashi's eyes seemed to protest against. The uphill trek back to camp had left the lingering scent of wilderness and sweat on his skin, but the cold had begun to sink into him once more. 

His knuckles were tinged a soft shade of pink, fingers aching against the bright cold where they gripped the tents canvas opening as he stood just beyond it, breathing. He watched his breaths. He counted them, just as he’d counted his steps from the tree line to his home, and the steps of the dismissed guards as they dutifully left their post upon his arrival. It felt colder without the clouds or trees to cover them. 

Kakashi wondered if he had a spare coat.

The air inside was warmed and blissfully dim, the aching of his hands fading to a warm numbness as they moved to unclasp the cloak over his shoulders. He didn't miss the quiet figure watching him from the corner of the room.

Kakashi tried to ignore that he'd folded and unfolded the cloak three, four, five times now.

“Hello.” His throat strained around the single word, like his body didn't want to give it up.

He heard a soft sound from the corner he refused to look in.

“Hello.” Itachi removed his glasses, having abandoned his reading when the other arrived.

Kakashi felt a loosening in his chest, wanted to throw the cloak still in his hands across the room at the feeling. There was no fire in the Uchiha’s tone, just a simple ‘hello’. It was a start.

A long silence fell over them; Kakashi folded the cloak a sixth time.

“You asked how I knew your name,” Itachi started, “Well, my family keeps fairly detailed records of most known defectors.” Kakashi looked at him then, attempting to gage the conversation.

“There's a photograph of you on record from when you were young.” Kakashi watched as Itachi shifted on his bedroll, legs tucking beneath him as his hands rested in his lap, fingers loose, relaxed. “Your face is visible in it, that's how I knew.” 

Itachi paused. "It's not as if I couldn't have guessed though. You're quite, distinct."

Kakashi just nodded dumbly, dropping the cloak down onto his own bed.

“I guess it would fit into your standard education: People to Kill, right up there with National Geography and Mathematics.” Kakashi had meant to sound playful. 

He mostly sounded bitter.

However Itachi did not seem put off, instead shrugging a thin – why was he still so thin – shoulder, dark eyes still following Kakashi as the man moved to the side of the room, seemingly searching for something.

“I'm the immediate heir. Naturally, I'm privy to any military intel that could directly impact the safety of my clan.” Itachi felt his brows draw together at the noncommittal ‘mhmm’ he received, leaning fractionally to the side as to get a better look at what the other was looking for as he rooted through crates and boxes.

There was a hard line to Kakashi's body, even as he was stooped over, mostly unassuming, but the strength Itachi remembered from the night before made him thankful for the energy he'd been able to accumulate in his short time inside the encampment. Had his body not been trained to react so reliably, he definitely would have been the one, once again, on the cold ground. 

Luckily, he had practice disarming much larger opponents than his would-be captor.

The sweater he still stubbornly wore was warm around him, and Itachi savoured the heat from his body as he slid a hand beneath its cover to gingerly press at the bandaging on his injured side. It was sore still, a shock of sensation every time he twisted the wrong way. He was certain that last nights altercation reopened the wound, made worse still by the rough treatment after his attempted wake up call that morning. He'd be lying to himself if he said that the pain hadn't become unmanageable. He knew there'd be a scar.

The trap he'd fallen prey to was a twisted labyrinth of snares and barbed wire, and while Itachi had been aware enough to avoid getting himself trapped, he had not foreseen the mangled wires final blow. Simple. Certainly enough to incapacitate a smaller animal. He thought it must have been meant for a deer, or even as a deterrent for larger predators. Though it proved enough for him in the end. He'd only made it a dozen meters or so before the snow swallowed him up.

It had been warm and quiet before he’d given in to unconsciousness. 

He was startled from the thought by Kakashi's pleased exclamation. 

He'd found the old coat at the bottom of one of the rooms many chests. It was worn, but, certainly better than nothing. Kakashi brushed the accumulative dust from the rough fabric, wondering if it had always been such an unappealing shade of desaturated brown. His single eye found the Uchiha before he tossed the coat to him, dusting his hands off on his own flack jacket before turning to the tents opening.

“Alright, get dressed.” He said, “I think it's time I give you the tour.”

 

 

When they stepped out into the light of midday, Kakashi noticed that Itachi’s immediate reaction was to raise a hand to his face, blinking against the sudden shift in lighting. He'd forgotten, perhaps too easily, that the Uchiha had not been allowed to see any form of daylight since his relocation. He looked younger in the light.

Kakashi watched as Itachi tipped his head back, looking out at the blue that stretched out above them, cloudless. He thought the teens eyes would be brighter in the sun light, but they weren’t. The light did nothing against the endless black of them. Though, the dark smudges beneath his eyes looked softer now, no harsh lamplight etching tired shadows and lines onto his skin; there was just the soft glow of the winter sun.

Kakashi focussed his gaze on the camp.

“So,” he cleared his throat, shifting his weight, “What do you want to see first?”

Itachi looked out over their surroundings, his lashes casting long spidery shadows over his cheeks as he squinted against the light. He held out his hand, pointing off into the distance where a simple structure stood, canvas sidings peeled back to allow the light in. Kakashi could see the familiar form knelt down, gathering items into a small basket. 

_Tending the garden, Tenzou?_

“Who is that?” Itachi asked simply, but the gesture still had him eyeing the other wearily.

The man huffed out a sigh, “Let's go say ‘hi’, I guess.”

They walked the short distance across the clearing, Itachi slowing to let a group of children run past in a fit of playful chatter. The good weather had brought a number of people out into the camps common areas, and for a single moment Kakashi wondered if any of them would recognize the Uchiha. Many eyes lingered on the new face, but with the other only a step behind their gazes quickly dropped back to what they'd been doing. Kakashi relaxed his posture, tried to blend in. 

The man that Itachi had spotted was still kneeling on the covered ground beneath his tent, picking up a number of tools from where they had undoubtably fallen. Most of them were rusted, tarnished and dirty as was the nature of their use. Kakashi supposed it was a good thing that Tenzou had found a pet project to keep him occupied.

Tenzou must have been focussed on his gathering, as he made no move to acknowledge his sudden company, instead managing to almost redistribute all of the baskets contents back onto the ground when he realized he was no longer alone. Kakashi had the decency to stay quiet.

“Oh, um –“ Tenzou righted his hold on the basket of tools, eyes darting around to be sure he hadn’t dropped anything. He straightened up then, looking between the two before settling on Itachi. “Hello there.”

Kakashi watched Itachi’s eyes flicker to the basket.

“What are you doing with those?” 

Tenzou looked down with a similar curiosity, seemingly unbothered by his ignored greeting.

“Well, I'm going to check the garden.” Kakashi wondered at the lack of condescension in the others tone, while Itachi nodded as if he understood, still staring at the assortment of sheers and small shovels.

Tenzou stepped past them, looking back at the Uchiha before saying, “Would you like to see?” Then without another word disappeared around a corner of canvas.

The two followed behind him, stepping into the chilled shadow of the tent as they rounded back to the edge of camp. 

Itachi looked out over the modest garden, spread out just at the clearings edges, no more than a few meters long, but densely packed with a variety of hardy, thick leaved winter greens, and the occasional bunch of small purple flowers peeking through the last touches of snow. There were vines and other winding plant life that seemed browned and lifeless in comparison. Itachi wondered if they were dead. 

“Do you grow all of your food here?” He looked between the two men, and Kakashi thought he heard a touch of genuine curiosity in the question. 

“Most of it,” Tenzou knelt down, placing the basket to the side and reaching over the fresh greenery to prod at some of the proud leaves. “We forage in the woods now and then, and we hunt for our protein, but, yep.” he pushed some lower hanging greens aside, revealing the gentle greens and vibrant purple bundles beneath.

Kakashi caught the teens minimal shift as he leaned forward to get a better look, favouring his uninjured side.

“That's cabbage.” His eyes darted back to Tenzou. “You can grow cabbage?” The two men shared a quick glance.

Tenzou smiled up at the teen, so far finding him much more palatable than he was led to believe he'd be. “That's right. The past few seasons have been very good to us; we've had some really strong crops. Makes things easier when the colder months come around.” 

Itachi's eyes wandered again to a patch of seemingly uninhabited soil, nothing but tiny green tips showing through the frozen earth. “What are those?”

“Onions!” Tenzou smiled brightly at the meagre greenery peeking through. “And we should have some snow peas coming up any day now, as well as some turnips and asparagus, assuming that the soil loosens up in the next weeks.” He sat back on his heels, admiring the small garden.

Itachi was crouched down beside him now, close enough to have Kakashi taking a few steps to be near them. Just incase.

He watched Itachi run a finger over a violet head of cabbage, something precious in his gaze. He'd have to remember that. 

“Would you like to test the soil?” Tenzou held out his hand, one of the hard-done-by trowels loosely held in his grip. 

Kakashi saw the thin hand reaching out to accept the tool, a flare of panic lighting up across his nerves until he was ordering a simple ‘no’, Tenzou's eyes flashing in alarm as he froze. He recoiled from the Uchiha’s touch, like it was dangerous. Good, Kakashi thought. 

_We can't get too comfortable._

“We're just here to look.” He stared at the back of Itachi's head, tracing the messy lines of a haphazard knot of hair. He was waiting to get sick of looking at so much blackness. 

Kakashi shifted back as Itachi rose from his crouch, regarding Tenzou sagely before turning back towards him. There was a caged displeasure in his dark eyes, but he walked over to stand by Kakashi once more, silent as the two exchanged looks. 

“Where too?” Kakashi's hands rooted themselves in his pockets, tone conversational as he nodded once to his comrade before turning away.

Itachi fell into step beside him, quiet.

Kakashi looked at him then, not the inconspicuous side glances he usually favoured, but an unavoidable look. Itachi couldn't pretend he didn't see him.

“How did we end up here.” He watched the subtle shift of the teens features.

Itachi's mouth set into a tense line, hands pulling the old coat tighter around his body as he forced back a cough.

“When something is broken, it seems natural to want to fix it.” His voice wasn’t that of a child's. He sounded uncharacteristically wizened.

Kakashi thought he sounded tired too.

“It's hard to tell though, isn’t it?” He traced the canopy line with his single eye, leaves rustling in the telling breeze of late day. “How much fixing you can do before the fixing becomes the new problem.”

Itachi hummed thoughtfully beside him, a deep sound that Kakashi thought he could feel vibrating in his own chest.

“That man, whose book I read - _Jaraiya -_ are those his sentiments, or yours?” Kakashi blew out a tired breath, now feeling like he was the one being watched.

“I think the reason somebody can connect like that on such a large scale, is because deep down, we all want the same things.” Itachi watched the relaxed posture of the man beside him, the gentle downturn of the eye that was visible to him. It was all a mask. 

He knew because he watched a small piece of the tension in that relaxed façade melt away with the mention of even the thought of peace.

“Did you want me to throw you onto the ground?” The hint of teasing in his tone earned a displeased narrowing of that single eye.

“Don't.” Kakashi warned.

Itachi offered a knowing smile, no teeth, just the pleasant curve of his lips. “Oh, you're not ready to laugh about it? That's too bad,” He feigned innocence, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “I am.”

They had circled the camp half way by then, walking along its outskirts away from the noise of people. The kiss of the forest air to his left reminded Kakashi of the daily patrols he'd been robbed of as of late. 

He wanted to be in the trees, wanted to feel immersed in the heavy, overwhelming mass of it all. He wanted to hear dogs in the distance and loud, awful laughter beside him. 

Kakashi hadn't realized he'd stopped walking, only focussed by the hand on his arm. Hardly a touch at all, just the gentle grounding press of fingers at his tricep. And as soon as he took an aware breath, it was gone. Fading into his delusions of barking dogs and laughter. 

“I,” Itachi hesitated a moment, and when Kakashi's eyes focussed on him he looked wan. 

He meant to say something, but all his mind could offer him was blank, dark eyes and _shut up._

He took a single aborted step towards the Uchiha. Itachi's hand was pressed gently to his side.

“I'm not feeling my best; I think I would like to head back.” He blew out a shuddering breath, and before he could say any more they were walking back to their shelter.

Kakashi had half expected the other to not make it, looking as he did so suddenly, and as Itachi moved to remove his coat Kakashi caught the sharp intake of air as a sign to step in. His hands were perfectly steady as he helped remove the old fabric, tossing it off to the side of the room as he guided the other to sit back onto his bedroll.

“Why didn't you mention that it was bothering you this much?” His voice was just above a whisper, hoarse around the accusation that he couldn't seem to keep out of it. _Idiot._

He placed a steadying palm over the teens abdomen, pushing him to lean down on the opposite arm. He pushed the wide sweater off his shoulders, peeling the thin fabric of Itachi's t-shirt up and away from his afflicted side. The bandage he revealed was damp, and soaked through with more blood than was originally accounted for. Kakashi could feel the press and pull of Itachi's breaths where his hand pressed to his ribs. They sounded like they hurt. 

Kakashi realized that his skin felt hot.

“I'm going to have to change the bandaging, and clean it.” Kakashi looked across the room, stood and moved to grab the few medical supplies he had on hand.

“You seem well prepared.” Itachi rasped, dropping down to his elbows to give Kakashi better access.

“I don't like going to medical when I'm told.” Kakashi placed a bottle down on the bed roll that had the younger’s eyes widening unpleasantly.

He was careful to peel the bandage off, but he watched as Itachi's head dropped down, the gauze still pulling away with damaged tissue and dark sticky clots. He waited for Itachi's fists to unclench before he continued.

He wetted a fresh piece of gauze with the unlabelled bottles contents. “This is going to hurt.”

He gently moved over the ugly wound, a quick pass that had Itachi trying to twist away from the touch. Kakashi pressed more firmly against his ribcage, pinning him. He doused the gauze in alcohol again, attempting to remove any other dead tissue, an unfriendly foaming erupting from every new area he cleaned. He grabbed the open bottle in his hand.

“Sorry about this.” He poured a steady stream over the deepest parts of the wound, feeling the muscles in Itachi's body contract around the sharp needling pain, a short cry disguised behind his closed mouth.

Kakashi eased up, capping the bottle and throwing it off to the side as he reached for a plain glass jar.

“Do I even want to know-?” Itachi ground out the words, having gone almost completely lax against Kakashi's hold. He looked exhausted.

“This should help a bit with the pain, and hopefully keep away any infection.” He dipped into the salve, using his fingers to spread a generous amount over the teens side.

Itachi tensed at first, but the instant relief he felt from the cooling mixture left the rest of the tension in his body slowly breaking up. Kakashi pressed his fingers around the worst parts of the injury, messaging deep circles into the reddened skin until the salve was absorbed. 

“There,” he made quick work of fashioning another bandage, taping it down to the teens side before gently brushing his hand over the freshly dressed wound. “All better.”

He gathered the few items back up, returning them back to his cluttered desk before turning back to notice Itachi still face down, twisted into the position Kakashi had put him in.

“It's not that bad, come on,” he watched the others chest pull in steadying breaths. “Get some sleep, take your boots off.”

Itachi pulled himself into a sitting position, shirt still hiked up around his chest. He straightened the dark fabric before attempting to lean forward to undo the boots leather lacing. He got half way through a pained expression before Kakashi was crossing the small space again, swatting his useless hands away before practically ripping through the lacing in both boots, holding Itachi's calf in a rough grip and pulling the boots clean off in a single motion each. 

He stood, turning back to his bed and ignoring the gnawing anger that pulsed through him. He was better at telling himself he didn't care when he was young and angry. 

Kakashi doused the lamp, crawling into his bed, waiting to hear the breaths across from him even out before letting sleep pull at him. But when he looked into the dark, all he saw was dark eyes catching light that wasn't there. 

He felt them peering through the dark, intense, like they could see in perfect detail. They blinked: once, twice. Slow, focussing movements before a final sweep of lashes. He waited for them to open again but they didn't. Kakashi waited instead for the next breath, and when it came he waited for another.

Sleep could wait.

 

 

When Itachi woke that morning, he was alone.

He'd heard Kakashi leave hours earlier as he had slept, restless but still. Thought he had heard low murmurs just outside before footsteps faded into the distance. It wasn't unusual for the man to be up and out without a word, and even as Itachi reluctantly pulled himself from his position, spine curling forward against a stiff night of rest, he didn't think much of it.

He'd been having trouble thinking all together recently.

The excursion out into camp the day before had disoriented him. It seemed pointless to waste energy walking in circles when he could have been out there. Worse yet the man in the garden had been an added distraction, as Itachi had the confusing feeling of having seen him before. Though he couldn't place it.

And his sudden sickness at the forests threshold. He'd been careless in not listening to his body, and in the end, though embarrassing, felt it right to be scolded by the older man. He'd had to be cleaned up and set to bed. Like a child, his mind had said to move, respond, yet his body wouldn't listen. Simply laid there in protest. 

It was an ancient reaction. Trained into him, then trained out again. It wouldn't happen again.

Not until he was certain he was in trustworthy company. Though as mercurial as his captor had proven to be, he seemed disinterested in Itachi’s suffering, or more ultimately, death. In fact, Itachi was struggling to see him much at all. 

In that moment at the camps outskirts, just inside the tree line, he'd attempted to pull the man from his glassy-eyed daydream, mimicking an action he'd come to understand as being focussing and kind. He'd been forcibly restrained for such efforts before, and did it want a repeat in his current state, but the reaction he received, while also instantaneous, was anything but defensive. 

Kakashi had looked at him as if he was surprised to see him there. In a single suspended moment had even reached out to him, moving forward as if to help him. He'd opened his mouth in a wordless stammer before pulling back into himself, something desperate and disappointed in him. Itachi remembered him looking thrown.

Itachi had felt much the same way.

Now Itachi could here the distant call of birds from within the tents heavy walls, the long rough cries carrying across the camp. The noise alerted him to the fact that other than the woodland life, the surrounding areas had become very quiet indeed.

He swung his legs carefully over to the edge of the bed roll, staring down at where his boots had been thrown the night before, moving instead to rifle through the small pile of garments Kakashi had offered him upon his relocation. He didn't bother to stand as he slid the rough fabric of the standard dark fatigues over his hips, freeing one leg at a time. He'd been regretting his lack of undergarments for the past days, and wondered solemnly what he'd have to do for a sliver of privacy and a bath.

It seemed so trivial, forgetting to leave the house without underwear.

His side still felt sensitive, pulling at every movement as he moved to slide on the fresh, albeit a tad dusty, pair of pants. Itachi glanced down at the new bandage crudely afixed to his side, the surgical tape forming snuggly against the contour of his ribs. He felt himself make a face at this. The ever-changing nature of his body wasn't to be blamed on hormones alone. Itachi knew he wasn't eating enough. It's not as if he was being offered regular meals. Perhaps this was something he was meant to initiate himself? It seemed yet another trivial thing to overlook. 

But then suddenly, Itachi was no longer alone, arms instinctively circling himself as he was joined once again by Kakashi.

He looked in a hurry, moving about the space, gathering his pack and a whistle that had been sitting idol on the crowded surface of his desk.

“We’re sending a search team out, for your brother.” He didn't spare Itachi a glance. “If you're still so sure he's out here.” There was a biting edge to the last part, Itachi thought Kakashi mostly sounded inconvenienced, but wasn't certain.

Regardless, he stood in a gentle, fluid motion, pulling a fresh shirt over his head, settling into the full coverage of long sleeves and a high neckline before moving to pluck his boots from the floor.

“Nuh-uh, forget it,” Kakashi levelled him with a stare. “You're not coming.”

Itachi froze.

He blinked, once, twice. “What do you mean?”

To the other mans credit, he simply took a steadying breath, explaining, “If you're setting us up, and we’re seen with you, that's going to look a lot worse than being seen just on our own. Besides, you should avoid doing anything stupid until that heals.” He swung his pack over his shoulder in a stiff motion. “So stay here.”

Itachi sat back onto the uneven roll, still feeling the heavy drag of his lashes as his eyes opened and closed in quick succession. 

“May I have something to eat.” He couldn't immediately tell if he had spoken up enough until the other answered.

“My stand-in will drop by once we leave. I'll see if I can get them to bring you something.” Kakashi glanced back at the Uchiha. “Behave.”

Itachi made no indication of having heard him, and he didn't wait for a reply before he was retreating to the outside world once more. 

 

The search party was a twenty-person squad. More bodies meant you could cover more ground in less time, teams of two always. Kakashi was watching those pairs disappear into the woods one at a time, crossing the camp as he followed, ready but not expecting. He wasn't even certain he believed the Uchiha’s convictions about there target, but if it was true, it was worth at least some effort. 

He heard the sound of birds over head as he stepped out into the trees.

Though his sights were so focussed ahead of them, he missed the large figure looming just beyond the treeline.

 

As promised, a familiar face stopped in to check on Itachi a mere twenty minutes later, canvas bundle in hand, and a canteen slung over his shoulder.

Itachi greeted the man from the garden politely, thanking him as he was cautiously handed the food and water he'd reminded himself he needed.

The careful man watched him take the first few bites of food: another plain protein mixed with some type of starchy root and a torn off piece of dense bread. 

“What's your name?” He asked between bites.

His guard seemed to tense at this.

“You can call me Yamato.” Almost casual enough to seem relaxed.

Itachi looked at him a moment. “But that isn't your name, is it.” He removes his glasses, setting them down beside him to get a better look at the man. “I know some of your names, from our files, but your face is what's familiar to me.” 

Yamato looks more uncomfortable by the minute, Itachi almost wants to ask him to leave.

“I'm sure it will come to me.” He settles on instead, watching the other relax a fraction.

“Well,” he starts, “If you need anything, I'll just be right outside.” And then he's dismissing himself from the room, leaving Itachi alone once more.

He finished his food more quickly than he'd expected. He was in the process of routing through the rooms store of books when he heard a quiet scratching. Itachi had originally dismissed it as a rodent, being sure not to disturbs any piles of items incase it was already inside, but it wasn't until he caught the a familiar, gentle croak that he stopped his search for reading material.

He felt his hands slowly fall away from the shelves, coming to rest in his lap as he waited for another searching call. And when he did, he couldn't help the shock that welled in him.

I quiet, broken _here here_ whispered through the walls.

He shot forward, checking over his shoulder to be sure he was in fact alone before pulling crates and belonging away from the far corner of the canvas structure. Itachi made quick work of prying the bottom of the canvas away from where it met the earth with thin, shaking hands. He stared down at the opening he had made, waiting, just watching, incase he'd really just made the whole thing up.

Then, like a groundhog from hiding, came the cautious tip of a smooth black beak. 

Itachi froze, unsure as he watched the bird inch through the the opening, no more than a beak and claw investigating the space as it muttered another _here here_. He hushed it feebly, reaching his hand out to run along what was in sight. Then with renewed curiosity the bird popped the rest of the way into the small space, head titling comically to get a look at the other.

Itachi eyed them back. “Hello friend,” he reached a loving hand out and stroked a long line down the crows dark feathers. “How did you find me.” 

There was wonder in his tone, but just as the words had been formed had he noticed the small container latched to the birds leg. 

“May I?” He received another tilted expression as he reached for the small note.

The worn paper had been folded over itself several times, until only an impossibly small rectangle remained. It was pressed so firmly Itachi feared he'd rip it before he got it open. When he finally did, the unscathed note sat stretched plainly between his fingers.

His eyes moved over it with ease.

He moved towards the opposite end of the room, note in hand, reaching up into the burning lamp, blinking against the quick sting as he dipped the tip of his finger in the lamps hot oil quickly using it to shape his short reply. Itachi fanned the note no more than a moment before gingerly refolding the paper, and returning it to its carrier.

“Go.” He said simply, his clever friend sneaking out of their enclosure once more.

Itachi heard them take off in a flurry of feathers.

Itachi resumed his position on his bed roll, suddenly disinterested in what there was to read.

 

 

He was joined by Kakashi early in the evening.

Suddenly alert when the man entered the room, Itachi sat forward, eyes landing on the other expectantly.

Kakashi said nothing, and Itachi decided that was answer enough.

“Nothing, I take it.” He watched him place his pack back in its normal spot, crossing the room to wear the crate had been similarly replaced in its rightful position. Hopefully seeming untouched. 

Kakashi was quick to remove his cloak, choosing to shed the flack jacket beneath it as well as he hurried to dress down.

“Found your trap.” He offered instead.

Itachi frowned.

Kakashi had managed to get himself down to a somewhat indecent level of undress, bare faced save for the loose band pulled over his left eye, sporting a simple black shirt, similar to Itachi’s, sans sleeves, and a worn pair of cropped bottoms that hugged snuggly at his calves and hips, but otherwise seemed strategically shapeless.

Itachi cleared his throat. “Exerting yourself?”

He watched as the other sunk his hands into the deep draped pockets at his thighs, shrugging noncommittally.

“It's getting warmer out,” he plucked the canteen from Itachi’s bed, taking a long swig. “I over dressed.”

“I see.” Itachi focussed his gaze on his own hands.

“Speaking of traps,” Kakashi motioned to the other.”How’s-?”

“It’s fine.” Itachi hoped he hadn't sounded defensive.

“Well since you failed at being your own nurse, I'll have to check it.” And before the teen could protest Kakashi was stepping forward, kneeling at his bedside, supplies in hand.

Itachi sat back on his elbows, rolling slightly to the side to give the man room.

“It won't be as bad as last time.” He muttered, pushing the others shirt out of the way. “Promise.”

Itachi pulled a steadying breath through his nose, feeling the warm press of a hand over his ribcage as the bandage was slowly peeled back. Kakashi's movements were deliberate as he went through the motions of cleaning the area once again, and Itachi was grateful that the man was able to keep his promise thus far. He could feel the heat coming off the others body, and knew he mustn't have been feverish anymore. 

Kakashi wasted no time in dipping into the salve once again, spreading it liberally over the closing wound and massaging it in with firm circles around what was left of the opening. He past over a particularly tight muscle on Itachi's side, earning a discomforted gasp.

“Okay?” His voice seemed softer when they were close like this.

“Fine, just-“ The teen pulled in another breath. “- hurry up.”

And Kakashi did, refolding the gauze and fixing it in place with fresh tape before backing off into his side of the room again.

Itachi hadn't immediately recognized the warmth that washed over him, and as he sat up, righting himself as he was unable to the night before, he wondered at it.

He basked in it a moment longer before uttering a quiet thank-you into the room.

Kakashi wandered over to the lamp, dimming it only marginally as he curiously crossed back over to the other. Itachi watched him carefully, balance suddenly shifting as Kakashi grabbed the edge of his bed roll, all but dragging him over to the other side of the space. Directly below there heat source.

He straightened up, walking mere steps to his own cot.

“How else are we suppose to trust each other.” Itachi watched the back of his head as he heard the words. “I,” Kakashi froze, fingers twisting in the blanket he'd been moving aside. “I'm sorry we didn't find him today.”

Itachi felt his stomach twist, words from days before circling his head, wondered how much he knew.

Wondered how much _he_ knew.

 

 

_Minato knew the teen had heard him enter, most likely assuming him to be Kakashi, therefore making no move to indicate the mans arrival, faithfully interested instead in the book resting in his lap. Hearing his voice however, had an immediate effect._

_Minato watched as the teens head snapped in his direction, bespectacled eyes landing on him with alarming speed. They widened fractionally, Minato unable to discern if the look was meant to be alarm or surprise, but before he could dedicate more time to the thought, the Uchiha shot up onto his feet, stepping forward in a half aborted motion that left him with one foot on the covered ground and the other still sinking into his bedroll, hips cocked at what seemed an uncomfortable angle. The book he'd been so interested in prior now forgotten in his loosely clasped hand. His body was perfectly still, full of tension, like he didn't know quite what to do with it. Minato realized then the look in his eyes, repressing a smile at the slight gape on the teens face._

_There was a beat of silence between them then._

_“May I?” Itachi asked suddenly, and though he made no indication of what he was asking, he waited for Minato's expectant look before removing his glasses._

_Minato noticed the slight tremble in his fingers as they carefully folded the modest frames and tucked them into a pocket stitched haphazardly onto the breast of a familiar shirt. And this time, when Itachi’s eyes found him, there was an intent softness to them. He recognized it as a trained expression._

_Minato let a calm smile settle over his features._

_“So,” he started conversationally. “You know who I am.”_

_Itachi remained silent, tracing the blonds movements with his eyes as he stepped further into the room. He could feel the gentle heat radiating from the lamp in the far corner nearest to where Kakashi slept, and wondered if the teen had chosen the opposite corner, or if he was ordered there._

_“Have the Uchiha been able to keep files on all of us?” Minato thought he did a good job of sounding casual, though his tone didn't stop Itachi from answering promptly._

_“Not all. Mostly just higher profile defectors.”_

_“I see,” Minato nodded thoughtfully, inspecting the young man. A reverent smile cracked his façade. “You've sure grown up.”_

_Itachi stiffened then, brows drawing together in a look of confusion. Minato wanted to ask why he was so disarmed by friendliness, but thought he could answer that on his own._

_“Really, you couldn't have been more than a few feet off the ground the last time I remember seeing you.” His face fell neutral. “And now here we are.” Itachi’s confusion melted away into a poorly masked discomfort. Minato sighed. "Time changes a lot of things.”_

_He didn't allow himself too much time to think on it before he was speaking again._

_“Which reminds me,” Itachi met his gaze expectantly, waiting for him to continue. “Sasuke Uchiha, who I'm not so familiar with; why did he leave the city?” Minato wasn't surprised to find the others face revealed nothing. “He's so young, I'd think the compound would be the safest place for him. I can't imagine he'd ever be allowed to leave.”_

_“I’ll be sure to ask him when he's found.” His voice was even, placating.  
“And you think he'll be found here? For all your uncertainty, you seem very certain about that.” Minato shot him a knowing look, crossing his arms loosely, grounded. “Why would he be here?” _

_Itachi looked away, suddenly quiet._

_He opened his mouth, hesitating once before speaking, “I'm not certain. Call it a feeling.”_

_Itachi looked up then, but when they locked eyes this time, Minato's look was sobering._

_“You don't strike me as the type of person to hike one-hundred kilometres of terrain on a feeling.” He softened his gaze. “We can't trust each other if you're not honest with me Itachi.”_

_He took a breath, asking again, “Why would he be here.”_

_“Because I brought him here.”_

 

The room was silent yet again, and Itachi watched as the other settled into his bed.

He decided he knew enough for now.


	6. Flickers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! I apparently don't understand what balance is, hehe.
> 
> This universes Kakashi is on the asexuality spectrum, and that'll sorta be explored/explained more in the next couple chapters.
> 
> I haven't been getting much feedback, so I hope everyone is cool with this thing just plodding along!
> 
> Feedback is love! <3
> 
> Chapter title is taken from 'Flickers' by London Grammar.

Ch.6

_Itachi felt hands on his shoulders. Achingly familiar and wrapping him with inescapable warmth like so many times before._

_In the black of his mind he could see nothing, just the glancing light of the summer sun through too green leaves, and a disarming smile with those familiar hands pinning him to reality, saying it's okay, everything will be fine._

_Itachi forgets to think critically, believes him because it's him._

_But then the summer light is gone and they're in darkness, only those warm hands aren't on his shoulders, they're everywhere, and with much less between them. Itachi's shirt is on the dark floor, a crumpled silhouette of their clans crest visible and Itachi remembers thinking that maybe that's where it belonged. But he pushes it away, instead turning towards that inescapable heat and holding on, losing himself in sensation, and it's okay because it’s him._

_This is home. Even when the soft lines of that smile turn into hot breath and hungry kisses and Itachi thinks that it may be too much but it's okay because it's him and this is where he lives, where he's safe. And that even if some things are too beautiful to last it doesn't mean that you're ready when they finally go._

_Itachi thought he would be ready._

_When the world shifts around him a third time, it has the same suffocating darkness as before but there's no warmth of reassuring hands at his shoulders telling him it'll be okay. All he hears is the sound of water._

_This part is too painful, and he imagines instead wading in the water as children, green and unknowing. That's where he leaves it._

_That's when he can wake up._

 

The reoccurring theme of his dream doesn't stop him from waking with a sharp breath. 

Itachi sits up, trying to steady his breath, telling himself that the dampness of his skin is a product of the lamp burning overhead. He ignores the thought of heat, letting the thin blanket pool over his lap as he pushes fingers through his hair, pressing into his scalp then combing through the tangled ends.

He feels the reminiscent currents of restless energy in his limbs, barely conscious after their abrupt awakening. Itachi feels embarrassment settling over him when he remembers he isn't alone.

He hopes the heat he feels on his face isn't noticeable.

Kakashi is eyeing him from his bed, much closer now that they're sharing their heat source.

“Bad dream?” His voice is rough with sleep, causing Itachi to wonder what time it must be.

“Yes,” he lies easily, “Just a bad dream.”

Apparently it isn’t unreasonably early, since Kakashi decides then is a good time to get up and ready for the day. Itachi watches him move around the space, occupying it with a surprising amount of awareness considering he'd just woken. 

Though Itachi supposed he did live here.

“We’ll most likely be sent out on another search today, so I hope you remember to enjoy your alone time.” The comment caught him off guard, and while his initial reaction, given his mercurial dreams, was to be embarrassed, Itachi settled on an indifferent hum. 

“Then I'm guessing that means I won't be joining you again. You know, in the search for my _own brother_.” He hadn’t realized the day before, that the feeling that turned in his stomach when he'd been told by Kakashi to stay put during the search had been anger.

It was an emotion he hardly let himself express, yet he seemed unable to stop it from edging into his voice.

Kakashi shot him a look, but said nothing.

Instead he worried at the items on his cluttered desk, pretending to tidy the space before blowing out a quick breath.

He straightened, pausing as he so often did before speaking.

“I'm going to find us something to eat.” He was moving quickly to leave when Itachi called out to stop him.

Kakashi halted at the sound of his name, but made no move to turn towards Itachi.

“I think I'd like to get some fresh air. Could I join you?” He didn't wait for a reply however, standing and making quick work of pulling boots onto un-socked feet, reaching to grab his sweater from the pile in the corner where his bed roll use to sit.

He approached the other cautiously, some small part of him expecting the panicked creature he'd witnessed after that first night, but as he rounded Kakashi, all he received was a look of barely masked scrutiny and silence before being led from the room.

It was bright out side, much like the first time Itachi had left its confines, and the strain of his eyes left him wanting to hide away again. He followed close behind as they moved across the camp, Kakashi glancing back now and then, something almost neutral on his face. Itachi was busy watching the tree line, eyes mapping the tops of trees for familiar feathered forms, when he felt a rough grip on his shoulder, feet trying to keep up as it forced him forward.

He looked up at Kakashi with wilfully broadcasted affront.

“Walk ahead of me.” And for a moment, Itachi thought that was all the explanation he was getting. “You’re not well-liked here.”

It was then, when he actually looked around them, that he saw the drawn faces of the camps inhabitants. Across ages and all other characteristics, they slowed steps and turned heads as the two made their way through. A hard weight settled in Itachi's stomach as he looked away. 

“Oh good,” he forced levity into his tone. “I was starting to think that I chose to hang out with the unpopular kids.”

Kakashi scoffed, unamused.

Itachi instead decided to focus on the ground. It was softer than the last time he'd been out, no trace of there having been any snow at all. He thought that it maybe felt a bit like spring was coming. He felt the coolness of day on his cheeks, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked back at the camp as they neared a pavilion just off from its centre.

“What's that?” Itachi pointed in the direction of the camps true centre, a structure that seemed just large enough to not be private quarters, but certainly on the smaller side of a public space.

Kakashi followed his line of sight, visible eye squinting against the sun.

“Meeting place.” He turns his eyes forward again, stopping just outside their destination. “It's where the council gathers. Political discussions, domestic issues, general check ins.” Kakashi slid Itachi a look that he couldn't decipher. “Boring stuff.”

He didn't have much time to think on it before Kakashi was pushing him through the canvas and into an unfamiliar space. 

The inside of the cooks tent smelled, predictably, wonderful. A mix of the rich scents of stewed vegetables and fresh herbs. Itachi dodged a bundle of dry leaves hanging over head that smelled suspiciously lovely, peppery and sweet. He looked over the modest kitchen, a large boiling pot set over a cleverly constructed wood burning stove. There were pots and pans of various sizes hanging alongside bundled herbs over head, and a large chopping block in the centre of the room marred with tell tale marks from the knives stored on its surface.

There was steam billowing from the titanic pot, and Itachi felt his curiosity bubbling along with it. After all, every meal he'd had so far in the camp had been utilitarian, but no doubt more than edible.

He was pulled from his awe when Kakashi breezed by him, wandering over to the corner of the room where a large stack of cluttered shelves stood. He rooted around for a moment, opening a cupboard over head and producing a small loaf of the same bread from before. He tossed the loaf to Itachi, watching from the corner of his eyes as the teen caught it with ease.

“Oh, _now_ you can catch things.” His head was buried in another cupboard, but Itachi caught the callout. 

Could remember the canteen the man had thrown his way, and his purposeful effort to fumble it as to not look too capable.

Their late night tussle in the snow had easily proved him a liar.

“What are you looking for?” He asked, watching the half of Kakashi that was visible as he continued to dig through the stores, adding an old unlabeled can and a couple of suspicious vegetables to his pile on the table top behind him.

He popped out for a single moment, eyes locking on the other. There was a glint in his eye that had Itachi's stomach twisting up. He told himself it was the food.

“Come here.” Kakashi beckoned him over, moving aside and letting the teen take his place. “You're smaller, try reaching in there. See if you can find a glass jar.” He watched as Itachi blew out an amused breath, leaning forward and into the dark pantry.

“It's round, has a glass lid with –“ Kakashi leaned in close, trying to see for himself, but Itachi pulled back before he could even finish.

He held his hands out, the portly jar staring back, dusty and blue. 

Kakashi stared at it dumbly for a moment, then slowly moved to take it from Itachi's hands

“What is it?” He watched Kakashi remove the lid, placing it down and using his free hand to reach into the jars contents.

“Sweets,” when he removed his hand, there was a single amber drop between his fingers, the scent of sugar and maple erupting into the room.

“These are from last winter. Tenzou had tapped some of the nearby trees –“ Kakashi paused. Just briefly, just long enough for it to seem odd.

“Who's Tenzou?” Itachi reached out, plucking his own candy from the blue jar. Kakashi's mouth pulled into a thin line.

Itachi read the expression well. “Wasn't it you, who said we should trust each other?”

Kakashi met his eyes then, regarding him with a usual caution.

“Would you trust me with your loved ones?” His voice had been softer than Itachi expected.

Itachi felt his gaze soften as well.”Don't I already?”

He opened his mouth to reply, but quickly shut it. Kakashi raised the sweet, still sticky in his fingers.

“Cheers to that.” Then proceeded to pop it into his mouth.

Itachi figured candy was not a bad reason to acquiesce, mimicking the other as he placed the sweet on his tongue. 

They stood there a moment, both enjoying the small sweets, until Kakashi glanced between them suddenly. 

He made a noise in the back of his throat, stepping away from the teen as he placed the jar back into hiding, and it wasn't until Itachi looked around that he noticed that they were still crammed between the small space of the cupboards doors. Itachi turned then to close them, about to explore the contents of the large pot when a broad figure pushed through the canvas and into the kitchen.

Itachi heard a panicked scuffle behind him as Kakashi gathered up their spoils, and then felt a hand gripping at his coat sleeve, pulling him backwards until he was pushing back against canvas and out into the light of day. He blinked for a solid second.

“That was close.” Kakashi breathed, “You do not want Chef catching you raiding the pantry.”

Itachi shook his head, walking ahead as Kakashi motioned him back towards their tent. He hadn't expected the adventure when he'd asked for fresh air, but he found he felt a bit lighter for it. 

It had reminded him of a fleeting memory where there was a smaller hand in his, moving quietly through long halls and down stairs to sneak after-dinner treats from the kitchens. The estate had many staff, but the kitchen staff were certainly his and Sasuke’s favourite. They always let the boys take what they wanted. Itachi even remembered one night, well past the time they were expected to be in bed, they'd snuck down to the kitchens, Sasuke always having been bad at staying silent when he was excited, it was obvious looking back why they'd been caught.

Itachi had been certain they were about to be marched back up to the main families quarters, feared for a single youthful moment the impending lecture from their father. Instead, it had taken hardly anything for a familiar face in the serving quarters to show them where the left over baked goods were hidden. 

Itachi had sat at the servants table with Sasuke for as long as they were allowed, watching him eat too many cookies, smiling as he giggled, cheeks chubby and speckled with crumbs when he complained about finally having to go to bed. 

Itachi had wiped his face clean with a gentle thumb, asking nicely for their unexpected confidant to not tell their father, before sneaking back up to their rooms.

A sharp ache blossomed in his chest at the memory. Had it really been that long since they'd both been so small, so seemingly unburdened. The thought made Itachi want to gather his brother to him, press a kiss to unruly hair and send him off to find another treat.

The ache threatened to split through his chest when he reminded himself that he couldn't do that. Not until they found him.

“- I'll be back from the meeting soon, stay here in the mean time.” Kakashi's voice broke him from his thoughts. He hadn't realized he'd been speaking.

At some point they’d made it back inside. Itachi tried to look focussed as the other spoke, placing the food they'd procured on the desk before leaving once more.

Itachi felt the sinking feeling in his stomach, felt the tightness in his chest, and knew instantly what the feeling was.

He centred himself, reminded that technically, there was an entire camp of people around, that it wasn't just him.

However, it didn't help to soften the hungry edge of loneliness.

 

 

Inside, the space was dimly lit as usual, the orange and gold light from the tables centre well heating the small space as the group spoke among themselves. 

Kakashi watched quietly from Minato’s right as he discussed his most recent thoughts about any advancement on the Uchiha. He had seemed, over the last couple of days, to have rethought entering the city, focussed instead on locating the youngest heir.

 _Sasuke Uchiha_ , Kakashi looked at their leader, wondering if he could see what had changed his mind. _Why are you so focussed on him now?_

It had always been on Minato's mind to find the young Uchiha, but now it seemed his priority, and Kakashi had a feeling there was something he didn't know. 

“We can't expect to get any information from Itachi Uchiha unless we have something to barter.” Hiruzen blew a mouthful of smoke across the table, effectively halting Shikaku’s argument. “Even if we don't immediately go through with the infiltration, the longer they're here, the more prepared we are for any future attack.” 

“Our focus for the time being needs to be on finding the boy.” Minato explains again. “I don't sense any other motive for Itachi Uchiha being here. The best we can do is to continue looking.” Kakashi watches the blonds brow crease, silent for a single moment before finishing. “In the case of finding him… Well, if we don't, then the problem will have resolved itself.” 

“What about reinforcements? Has anyone been sent for the two of them that we know of?” Kakashi turned his eyes to Shikaku, following the tired line of his sight before answering. 

“Not that I can tell. I hate to admit it but, I don't think there's anything sinister going on with Itachi Uchiha.” Kakashi leans back in his seat. “He's focussed, and self-serving, but I don't think he has any concern regarding what we have here.” 

The man across from him scoffed, barely hiding his disdain for Kakashi's statement. 

“As if you're the authority.” He levelled the other with a heavy look. “You've fallen for them before." 

Kakashi felt his chest tighten, shoulders set as he forced himself from moving forward, pressed back into his chair. “Excuse me?” 

“You were so far on the other side, did you even know who your enemy was?” He started in, causing careful glances between the councils other two members. “You were an urban legend to those animals, a boogeyman, and that worked for us for a while, kept them afraid. But now? You're as good as brainwashed! The fact that you were even considered for the task of guard-dog is astounding –“ 

In a quick motion Kakashi was out of his seat, stilled only by the halting hand Minato held out in front of him. 

“You would dare question the judgement of your superior?” Hiruzen wrapped the heavy wood of his cane against the hard ground, voice shrill with outrage. 

Minato was standing then as well, hands held out in a calming gesture. “Please, everyone.” He locked blue blue eyes on Shikaku. “There's no sense in turning on each other. I would never give an order that I thought could jeopardize all our hard work and efforts. This situation is difficult for all of us, and it's nearly impossible to know what the exact right choice would be, that's why it's more important than ever to come together to find a solution. Now please,” he glanced over at Kakashi. “Sit down.” 

The room became quiet then, Kakashi resuming his passive place at Minato's side as everyone allowed themselves a moment to reel in their emotions. 

Minato took his seat once again, taking a deep breath. 

“I will not tolerate contention in this council. Our entire foundation as an autonomous social structure is reliant on cooperation and compassion. These are ideals that I will not compromise.” Kakashi felt everyone's silence, eyes downcast like scolded children. 

“That being said, if there is a concern with my judgement, I'd expect you to take the issue up with me. This I expect us all to be perfectly transparent about.” 

Minato fixed them all with a final look, leaving no one eager to disagree. 

Itachi thought of the feathered visitor from the day before, thought of the familiar face that he knew lurked near by, though he hadn't yet caught a glimpse of the man. Just a singular scribbled word on a folded note. 

They had decided on the identifying words some time before there was any reason for them. If the need for covert communication had arisen, Itachi had known who’s loyalty he could trust. He was glad for their prudence now, since a single look at the unassuming scrawl of _scarlet_ had been immediately identifiable. 

He knew, that it was odd to be comforted by even the idea of possibly the least tangible person near him. It surprised him to realized that he craved the familiarity of someone he knew, had known, for a majority of his life. 

_I don't want it all back._ He focussed on the crate that disguised the opening he'd forced into the canvas just a day earlier. _But perhaps it was foolish to hope I wouldn't want any of it back._

Itachi understood the repercussions of what he’d done, knew that it wouldn't ever be the same, even if he were to try and take it all back. Even if he were able to safely return Sasuke and himself home. 

He thought he could maybe handle that, the blowback of his desertion, but it was ignorant to assume his actions would only effect him. Their were other factors to consider. 

After all, that familiar face had helped him sneak more that just sweets the night he left the city. His repercussions would be far greater than the two brothers. 

Itachi wasn't sure he could handle being held responsible for one more casualty. 

But now Itachi knew the man was here, waiting until he was told not to anymore. 

_Here to retrieve me?_ Itachi wondered. _Or to join me?_

It would be easy now, to leave. As far as he'd heard there were no guards stationed outside. He could walk out, across the camp and into the woods. He knew what to expect now, not as green as he had been when it came to rudimentary survival, and his side was mostly healed by now, certainly no longer life threatening. 

Itachi closed his eyes, could see the painfully familiar face of his brother and the severe, reliable form of the man he knew was just beyond him, waiting. If he could go, he could get to them. 

Itachi's eyes opened on a shuddering exhale. 

He wrung his hands, memorizing the steadiness of them as he stood, feeling otherwise the opposite. He was still dressed from earlier, still prepared for an excursion, and he knew, if he didn't find something to ground him now, he'd end up lost in the woods again. 

_Just go_ , he felt the thoughts rushing through him. _Just find somebody that can keep you here, so you can find him and that will be the end of it._

Itachi pulled the heavy canvas aside, not yet moving forward as he waited to see if he was in fact being watched. At this point, he wondered which was better. 

When the outside proved unguarded he stepped out into the light. It was easier to navigate his way across the camp now that he'd seen it more than once. His memory had always been a bit too good. He quickly identified the places he thought he'd be most likely to find someone, moving between structures and staying clear of any groups of idol civilians. 

_Unlikely civilians. They could probably all cause their fair share of damage._

Itachi pressed himself back against a nearby stretch of canvas, stilling as he watched a trio of familiar watchmen pass by, only relaxing after they had ducked into nearby quarters. He was about to cross the small path to the next structure when he heard soft conversation at his back. 

He turned towards the canvas, leaned in close enough to see the woven texture of it as he listened, attempting to pick out voices from inside. 

He couldn't make out much. A familiar warm voice speaking calmly about ‘opportunity’ and ‘acting strategically’. Then another voice, rough and weary, with a tone that quickly carried to disagreement, using words like ‘complacent’, voice raising just enough for Itachi to catch a half of a sentence. 

He knew what this was; he had sat through enough clan meetings and overheard enough patriarchal arguments to be able to differentiate between impassioned conversation and real planning. Itachi pressed closer, closing his eyes, trying to pick out more. 

There was a voice Itachi had never heard before, reminding him of the few clan elders that had reached any sort of advanced age. His words were like smoke, wisps of consonants through the thick canvas. There was talk of ‘getting what they want’, and Itachi felt a coolness hit him at the mention of something to barter. 

_“ –prepared for an attack –“_

He felt a deeper chill at the single word, pushing out a breath he'd not realized he'd been holding as he continued to listen. It was difficult, to gauge the conversation based on bits and pieces, but Itachi began to feel an acute unease at the tones of the men hidden from sight. 

Could they have really wanted another confrontation all along, he felt his jaw set into an unfriendly tenseness. _After all their rhetoric about peace and cooperation-?_

Itachi had read enough of the propaganda to get the gist of what the rebellion claimed to stand for. Books and books of it in fact, whatever Kakashi had on hand, all written by the same man. 

_Jaraiya_

Itachi had heard of him, of course. He was nothing more than a legend at this point, having disappeared off the grid years ago, but was supposedly responsible for peacefully kicking off monumental discourse with illegally published books speaking out against the main family. 

Itachi wondered, briefly, if these were really his ideals coming to fruition, or someone else's entirely. 

However his attention was suddenly caught when he heard Sasuke’s name. He willed himself to hear the words clearly, wanting to push himself through the barrier just to hear every detail. Instead finding only a resolved sounding murmur. 

_“ –Finding him… Well, if we don't, then the problem will have resolved itself.”_

Itachi felt his hands fist themselves at his sides, suddenly pushing back from the canvas, turning sharply and walking back across the camp, not caring who saw him. 

He pushed through into the small space, careless as he routed through piles of belongings, grabbing what he needed and tossing aside what he didn't. 

If that's how they felt, if that's how they saw them, just as some disposable problem, then Itachi didn't need their help. He would find him on his own if he had too. 

After all, it was no one else’s fault that Sasuke was out there all alone. 

Itachi understood that if you broke something, it was your responsibility to fix it. 

And as he quickly packed things into his bag, hoisting it over his shoulder before hooking an extra coat over his arm, that was exactly what he planned to do. 

Itachi spared the room a final look, but when he turned to leave he was met by the solid weight of a body. 

It hit him hard, having been standing directly behind him, and he couldn't stop his hands automatic reaction to push out, separating him from the obstacle. But when Itachi looked up, Kakashi was staring back, something dark in his eyes that Itachi didn't think to notice. His mouth formed a tight line, sucking in a short breath and refusing to step back. 

“Going somewhere?” The intensity in the words had Itachi’s eyes flickering between his captor and the outside, still visible through half open canvas. 

“I'm leaving.” He hoped the statement was firm. 

And when Kakashi remained silent, Itachi moved to pass him. 

He'd barely taken a step when Kakashi was grabbing him by the pack on his back, twisting him back until he was pushed bodily back into the space.itachi was quick to straighten himself out, brows drawing together in a threatening expression, feeling a surge of adrenaline rush through him at the contact. 

“Don't touch me.” He warned, unsure if the threat in his words was genuine. 

“Where's this coming from all of a sudden? Finally showing your true colours?” Kakashi's face twisted into a mean expression behind his mask. “Or are you upset because you stopped getting your way?” 

Itachi blew out a humourless laugh, out of character and _frustrated_. 

“I thought you'd be glad, since we’ve just become your _problem.”_ The words felt petty even as he said them but Itachi found he didn't much care. 

“So let me do us both a favour, and let me leave.” His voice evened out, moving again to pass the other, but Kakashi took a threatening step forward, halting him once more. 

“Is that how you think it works –Life doesn't go as you planned so you _run away?_ ” His voice was steadily raising, Itachi taking another step back. 

“You don't know anything about me.” His voice was maddeningly neutral, and he watched, thought he could feel the others temper, manic and angry. 

“I know your kind.” 

“And what about you?” Itachi's eyes narrowed, sharp and ready. “I’ve seen you, the way you lose time, your delusions –who exactly do you see when you look at me?” He watched the shallow expansions of Kakashi's chest, could see him catching desperate breaths, panic clear in his eyes. “ What did you do? What ghosts are waiting for you when you fall asleep?” Itachi stepped forward, continued to until he felt he'd taken up enough space. “–Nightmares; your own people can't even stand the sight of you. Do you know what my family does to soldiers like you? We forcibly retire them.” 

“Shut up.” Kakashi spat, still standing in the doorway, looking the antithesis of comfortable. 

“I don't think I will,” Itachi spat back. “Because we can stand here and call each other cowards, but we don't know the first thing about each other. And I don't plan on being trapped here as a mirror for you to shine your guilt on.” He took a final step, moving into the mans space. 

“So if I'm a problem to you, stop pretending I'm not.” 

And as if the words were a command, Itachi feels Kakashi's hands gripping the front of his coat. He's quick to react, twisting out of the undone garment before Kakashi can drag him too far into the space, hearing his bag fall to the ground. He moves towards the other, dodging the coat as it’s thrown at him. 

Itachi thinks he must have underestimated Kakashi's mood, because before he can read the situation he's being pressed to the ground, arm twisted behind his back, completely pinned. He sucked in a pained breath, trying to push up against the steady weight above him, knowing that he had been beat. 

When Kakashi's voice came, it was a string of broken half whispered sounds. He pressed in closer, head dropping down just above where Itachi's face laid pressed against the woven rug beneath them. 

“ –you’re not the only one who feels trapped here.” 

Then just as quickly, he was off of the teen, Itachi only catching the last glimpse of him as he rushed from the room. 

All Itachi could do was stare after him as he tried to pick himself up off the floor. 

Another search had been sent out by noon, but Kakashi hadn’t joined them. 

He'd already gone off into the woods, hiding under the thick canopy of evergreens, any sign of the winters last snowfall having melted away to reveal thousands of violet buds peaking out from the earth. 

He sat on the damp ground, hands pressed flat to the trees and plants around him, inhaling the heavy scent of ozone, letting the cool humidity wet his skin just to give him something to hold onto. Something to ground him to this reality. 

He tuned in to the soft bird song, the endless rustle of life and leaves and air that he took every opportunity to gulp down because he was still alive but he needed to remind himself. 

He would stay where he was just for now. 

Kakashi knew he needed to go back, needed to sort things out or come clean to Minato about how _not okay_ he was. 

He'd been too honest, shouldn't have said anything that he'd said, should have just shut up like how Obito always tells him to in his dreams. But part of him felt, better is an incredible over statement, lighter for it. As if pretending everything was fine had weighed him down to some sub-human place. 

He'd lived in that place before, use to call it home back when he just wanted the world to leave him alone. It was easier, when no one challenged your reality, but it wasn't living. Kakashi didn't think he knew what living actually felt like. 

The thought made him miss his dogs. 

He heard footsteps behind him and he hoped for a moment that the wet earth would give way and swallow him up. 

It didn't though, and a brief moment later Tenzou sat down next to him. 

“It's beautiful.” His voice was soft like a bell, you'd never know where he came from just from speaking to him, and it made Kakashi feel closer to him somehow. 

“The crocuses seem to be coming in a bit early this year. Hopefully that means winter is officially over.” He smiled over at his solemn friend, and Kakashi felt his dark eyes trace the silhouette of his face as he spoke. 

Kakashi said nothing, didn't have anything to contribute so he simply remained quiet. He knew Tenzou didn't mind. They stared out at the woods together for a long moment, and it wasn't until Tenzou stole another long look at Kakashi that he felt like maybe he was ready to go back. 

He didn't move though, instead just closed his eyes a moment when he saw the other reach out from the corner of his vision. He felt the soft pressure of Tenzou's fingers on his forearm, drawing a gently line down his wrist until they pressed into his relaxed hand, resting there in a loose hold. 

Kakashi's initial reaction was to pull away, do the other a favour, but he fought it down. He stayed perfectly still, even felt his breath holding, afraid to encourage the touch as a painful ache opened up in his chest. 

Tenzou just stared out at the sea of violet that stretched out before them. 

He waited for Kakashi to pull away first, letting him stand before following. And they headed back towards camp with out a word. 

Kakashi hadn’t expected to find Itachi when he arrived back, in fact he wasn't sure what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't the scene he had walked in on. 

The first thing he registered upon his arrival was the strong scent of lavender and something astringent and almost medicinal. When he scented the air he also took in the suffocating humidity of the small space, the light feeling hazy and diffused in the steam. His eyes moved to the corner of the room where Itachi's bed roll had been, the empty space now being occupied by a large, low, copper basin. 

Kakashi counted it a small miracle that the teen was still partly clothed, leaning forward from where he knelt on the ground, head tipped forward to allow long dark hair to dip into the infused water. Kakashi stayed near the rooms opening, watching as Itachi washed his hair, pale fingers peeking through the blackness as he combed through in gentle strokes. 

He gathered the mass of it into a tail, wringing the excess water from it before sitting up, smoothing his hands over the round of his head and letting the lengths fall down his bare back like ink. When he looked up his eyes immediately found Kakashi's. 

Kakashi felt no shame in breaking the gaze, clearing his throat as he made his way to his side of the space. 

Later, looking back, he'd realize Itachi was wearing the sweats he had worn the night before, after returning from their first search, but he didn't want to think about it now. 

“That's not a bad idea,” he fought around the mouthful of words, fighting with more when he realized that's not what he'd meant to say. “I mean, it's been a while, probably.” 

He felt equal parts awkward and relieved when Itachi said nothing 

“The lavender is nice” he muttered under his breath, still feeling like he was trying to say the right thing. 

This Itachi did respond to. 

“Tenzou was kind enough to bring me some from the kitchen when I asked to boil some water for a bath.” His voice was clipped, like he wasn't entirely interested in having a conversation. 

But Kakashi's eyes shot up when he heard the name. 

“Calm down,” Itachi moved around the room, slipping his still too big sweater over his bare shoulders. “It wasn't difficult to figure it out after you accidentally said his name.” He motioned to the still full tub, a simple question. 

Kakashi dumbly shook his head no. 

He was surprised by the cocked brow he received. 

“I'll close my eyes.” And while Kakashi was uncomfortable, he wasn’t past the point of catching the needling facetiousness in the teens tone. He did however wonder at the odd expression hidden on the Uchiha’s damp face. 

Itachi was glad for the bath. He'd needed refreshing, and the small comfort had especially been welcome after the mornings surprising altercation. 

More surprising was the swirling grip of attraction that had suffused him after their brief scuffle. 

Itachi had always been comfortable with sexuality. He found himself oblivious of the typical taboos people felt about the subject. He saw it as a very honest part of an often dishonest world, and nothing about his body or anybody else's was something he found shame or embarrassment in, not in that context at least. 

But the reaction his body had to his and Kakashi's argument was completely inappropriate. He mostly blamed hormones, but still was annoyed at the ease at which he felt the soft pull of adrenaline turning into something else inside him. 

He was hoping he could navigate the sudden attraction, if only for the fact that he highly doubted it would be being returned any time soon. 

By the time Kakashi had stripped down to his fatigues and long sleeve, Itachi had dropped the subject of the bath. 

He regretted the company, as it certainly would have been nice to clean up, especially after the last couple of days running through the woods, but when he looked back a minute later, Itachi had taken to gathering up any worn garments, running them through the fragrant water in hopes of washing them. 

Kakashi turned back to his bed, staring down at it. 

“There was someone I knew, quite some time ago… A friend.” He forced the words out, tried to give them the credit they were due, with out giving it all away. All he heard was the soft sound of water behind him. 

“He was an Uchiha, and even back then it wasn't really, normal, for him to be out of the city, but we’d known each other since we were, well, we were young.” He took a quick breath, words mixing with the watery sounds in the background. 

Kakashi felt himself turning, slowly moving across the room until he was standing at the basin where Itachi knelt, washing and wringing clothes as he listened quietly. Kakashi kneeled down near him, just far enough to pretend he knew what comfortable was. 

He wasn't sure he'd be able to get through it all, so he just started talking in hopes he did. 

“He was around my age, so you may not remember him – may not have even met him. He was lower-family.” Itachi stopped washing and wringing. “We use to sneak out at night and meet at the Naka river, you know the one -?” Kakashi blew out a shuddering breath. “Of course you do, ah, well –It was hard after that, to see each other. Got to watch him at meetings and through monitors when things started getting messy but we didn't, we never really, _saw_ each other…” 

Kakashi wasn't sure he knew how to say the rest, thought maybe he could just look at Itachi and have him understand. 

He wasn't so lucky. 

“There was that thing that happened, some time back, the bombing where all those kids died, well the Uchiha thought it was us, and it turned into three days of deadlock between us and them. Nobody was sleeping, it was non stop, they hit, we hit. Just chaotic.” He cleared his throat, made himself continue. 

“Eventually our side knew we needed to get out of there, so we made the decision to just, run. It was poorly planned, they were picking us off as we ran –I was with a small group, we were trying to get through the the city gates, just had to run through the inner circle and we’d be out but, there were people everywhere and, someone – one of them – came towards us and I just,” his fingers felt stiff as they pushed through his hair. 

“Just did what I thought I had to.” 

Kakashi coughed out a breath, turning to look across the room as his fist quietly knocked against the tubs edge. “But it wasn't the enemy it was him.” He finished quickly, forcing nonchalance into the words. 

“That was the same time I lost my eye - didn't realize it had even happened until I came to about a day later and it was gone.” He thought he sounded convincing, but at a certain point the words didn't even feel like he was saying them. They were just there. 

He felt awkward, as Itachi watched him from across the water. 

“Were we alike?” The teen asked quietly, he seemed almost nervous, but Kakashi wasn't sure he felt aware enough to say. 

He didn't do much to mask the hard exhale that somehow turned into, “Not at all.” 

“I mean except for the ways he was similar to anyone from your clan: dark hair, dark eyes.” This part was easy, the facts. He could handle the black and white. 

"You know, they use to tell us that you stole our eyes, after killing us." 

Kakashi couldn't help the chuckle he let out. "Except this is reality, and not a sci-fi novel. You can't just take people eyes." 

Itachi looked off across the room for a long moment then, calculating, like he was trying to piece it all together. Kakashi wanted to tell him good luck. 

Then he turned those razor eyes back on Kakashi, pinning him with a look that was a little too soft around the edges to be intimidating. 

He still managed to feel stuck 

“May I see it?" 

But before Kakashi could do more than open his mouth on a silent stammer, he watched thin hands reach out to him, and just like in the woods, he wondered if maybe this was just something you let some one do because they needed it. 

And that maybe it was okay to need it too. 

Itachi's hands were feather light as they moved to slide the dark band up over his hair, pulling it off completely, letting it fall to the floor, forgotten. 

Itachi’s fingers pressed what was probably meant to be a soothing line down Kakashi's temple, but as his thumb circled over his brow, tracing the faint pink scar there, Kakashi briefly forgot how to breathe. He watched the teens face, held onto that reality as dark eyes followed the lines that his fingers traced. There was a single moment where Itachi's thumb dropped down to trace the soft line starting near the side of his nose, pressing close to the inner corner, where Kakashi almost had to pull away, but Itachi held his face with the other hand, hushing him gently. He moved his thumb back, following the shape of his lower lid, identical to its opposite side. 

“There is nothing wrong with this.” The whispery breath touched Kakashi's bare face, eyes fluttering against it, and Itachi wondered at the smattering of soft silvery lashes. 

“Does it hurt?” 

Kakashi's voice surprised him when it came in a soft whisper, “No, it doesn't feel like anything. There's nothing there.” 

Itachi just nodded silently, watching Kakashi's now both closed eyes. 

“Thank you for telling me.” Kakashi again felt the whispering breath on his skin, followed by both Itachi's thumbs moving to cradle his face, the one nearest his left eye falling away before being replaced by an entirely different sensation. 

Itachi leaned forwards, smelling lavender and rosemary on his damp hands as he pressed a simple kiss to the corner of Kakashi's mouth. 

He slowly drew back, expecting nothing as he rose to his feet, moving back towards his bed roll before looking back. Kakashi hadn’t moved, stock still and silent where he was still on the floor. Itachi reached over head, dimming the lamp to almost nothing, and crawling into bed. 

_“Goodnight Kakashi.”_


	7. New Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boys talking and thinking about stuff.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Feedback gives me so much life.

The days that followed were humid and warm with the sudden onset of spring. Itachi had been grateful for the change in temperature, but after days kept inside the tents close walls he’d started to feel nearly suffocated in the wet air.

His enigmatic roommate had also been nowhere to be seen.

Itachi had tried, kept himself awake until his body physically wouldn’t let him, feeling as if he were attempting to catch a glimpse of some rare animal. He’d started to believe that Kakashi had simply taken up residing elsewhere, when there was no sign of him even in the early hours of morning. But he knew that wasn’t the case since every morning the cot near his own was turned down uncharacteristically, perfectly made like it would be if a child had broken something and then put it back perfectly in its place in hopes that no one would notice. 

Itachi had never played such a long game of avoidance, and he had been raised the son of a political tyrant.

What’s more, beyond the first day that Itachi had foolishly thought to flee the encampment, his pseudo-captors hadn’t thought to station even a single guard outside. He thought for a single affronted moment that he should be taken a little more seriously than that. Though he entertained the possibility that it was in fact his partner in hide-and-seek offering a disappointingly easy way out.

But where was the fun in that.

So Itachi stayed put, occupied himself with reading and thinking and touching things that didn’t belong to him. He’d taken to wearing whatever odd articles of clothing he found lying around Kakashi’s side of the space, sorting through pieces that would be too big on him or just simply not to his aesthetic tastes. If the man was going to pretend he didn’t exist then it only seemed fair to do the same.

At one point, Itachi found a pair of boots tucked away that were much lighter weight and less worn than anything he’d seen the rebel wearing previously, most likely meant for fairer weather, and he made quick work of untying the laces keeping them together and placing one back in its original place, then tossing its twin behind a pile of crates and stored belongings. 

Itachi realized he may need to alter his approach if he didn’t intend on becoming increasingly petty.

If he was being realistic – and fair, though he tried to avoid any unnecessary softness – he understood why Kakashi had made himself scarce. After the story he’d told, it was clear why Itachi’s presence had shaken him, but everyone has lost people, that’s what war is.

Itachi knew though, that grief wasn’t general; it made you feel special. It made you feel like no one else could have possibly ever felt the way you did. Sometimes it even made you hope for bad things to happen to others, because then you maybe wouldn’t have to be in this alone. But then when bad things do happen, and you realize that the company of everyone’s misery wasn’t the comfort you’d thought it would be, it makes you want to change things.

Itachi had thought he probably knew what that felt like too.

Though he tended to feel more annoyance for himself than anything else these days. 

On the grande list of Mistakes he was Much Too Smart to make, getting lost in the woods while scavenging for himself and his kidnapped brother was certainly at the top. 

Sasuke had made little fuss about being whisked away into the hinterlands. He had followed every order and every direction from his Much Too Smart older brother; he’d ran and dodged barriers and bushes and trees when he was told, and had stayed put in any given thicket or hollowed out tree that Itachi could think to hide him in anytime they separated for the older to find them food. He’d been silent and trusting when Itachi had snuck into his room late in the night and whispered to him about leaving, and the only shred of unease had come as they stood in the door way leading out from the kitchens, Itachi watching the flickering gaze of wide dark eyes as sasuke etched his home into his memory for the last time.

He had done everything demanded of him, and when Itachi left him in the woods with the quiet babble of a stream behind them, all Sasuke had asked was that he not be gone too long.

Itachi knew if he ever got him back he’d never make the mistake of leaving him again.

It was when Itachi let himself feel the incredible anxiety of it that he wondered if it was still better than having him back in the compound. Though Itachi had always been bad at having weak conviction, and a single flash of memory was all it took to make him certain that nature was in no way crueler than whatever Sasuke had been bred and groomed for within their clan.

After all, that’s why Itachi was with him in the outside world.

In these rare moments when he let himself, Itachi thought of his brother, and what it felt like to look at someone and know you’d do anything to protect them. He thought of knowing what it feels like to be looked at by someone who would do anything to protect _you_ , even when the rest of the world deemed you inexplicably needless of protection. He thought of Shisui, thought of his slow steady energy, like the gentle force of water, even before he knew to associate him with anything other than solid ground. 

Shisui always had such a way about him; he could talk his way around, over, and out of just about anything, without you even knowing he’d gotten his way all along. No matter the twists and turns he took, he’d had an incredible track record when it came to getting where he wanted to go. Itachi sometimes believed that was the only reason Shisui was ever able to even stand in the same room as Itachi.

He was a distant cousin in a large clan, and the bloodlines of the Uchiha were taken very seriously. Shisui’s place among the lower families meant that he was only of so much use as a soldier, but as he did, he’d slowly proven himself useful to the Main Family. Itachi remembered the first time he saw Shisui standing among the clans higher ups. He’d been young at the time, but Itachi was younger.

He’d not understood this optimistic looking boy with his head full of unruly dark curls, wisping around his face in a rather unkempt fashion, contrasted by the severe vaulted ceilings of the reception hall. He remembered looking up at his father, at his side as he had been at all times back then, and Itachi had felt like he’d just found the outrageously obvious spy. If his mother hadn’t been so ill with Sasuke in those days, he would have tried to ask about this new strange boy. 

He’d not be permitted to actually speak to Shisui until years later.

Itachi let himself acknowledge that he missed him, but only sometimes, because there was only so much room for self-pity. Shisui would have told him he needed to make more room for such things. 

There may be someone else that needs convincing about such things too, and Itachi wonders if his misery really does love company.

 

 

Kakashi had been making good time towards the east camp, and the lighter layers clinging to him had proven ample coverage and warmth with the changing weather. The woods breathed around him, fresh and wet. He wondered how long it would be before new buds started up on all the trees and greenery. He’d have to appreciate the browns and beiges for a little longer. 

The sun caught through the branches over head and crisscrossed dappled blurs of light across his face and body as he moved; he squinted against it, feeling the edges of a headache behind his eyes.

He’d maybe not been sleeping as much as he should.

He’d finally exhausted all other tasks and odd jobs that could be accomplished in the confines of the camp, finally having to ask Minato if there was anything else to see to. He’d been sent off with a a note and a firm hand on his shoulder telling him to get some fresh air; kakashi hadn’t been entirely sure what that meant, seeing as all they had around them was fresh air. 

Regardless, he left as soon as the sky lightened enough to see the way, making sure to make up his cot as to keep his whereabouts ambiguous. He’d also made sure to remove any obvious weapons from the room, though he had the unpleasant feeling that it made little difference; the teen could probably incapacitate someone with a paperclip if he really wanted to.

Kakashi wasn’t ready to admit why he’d left him unguarded. Felt like a coward just remembering that he had. If Itachi decided to walk outside and kill them all it would be his fault. 

He didn’t want to think about all that the small Uchiha was capable of. Especially not after what he let him do. Why he let his sworn enemy get close enough to touch him, aside from a fit of madness, he had no idea. Kakashi had thought he’d be smarter than something so weak. 

_Was it worth it_ , he stared hard at the ground ahead of him. _Do you feel better?_

Kakashi didn’t let himself finish the thought, stepping down again as he continued walking, only this time a sharp pain shot through his thigh at the impact. He stopped, hissing against the sudden sensation as he roughly kneaded his fingers into the muscle there. He blew out a warm breath against the morning cold as it withdrew, leaving only a dull ache along the meridian of his quadriceps. It hadn’t bothered him in a while, but he supposed now was as good a time as any. 

Wounds did that sometimes – never really healed. They’d flare up again like the nerves remembered the feeling even though it wasn’t there anymore. Kakashi stopped questioning it around the same time he stopped showing up for physiotherapy. 

Sometimes the flare up was better.

Kakashi knew he was close now, didn’t have much further to go before he was in familiar company. He noticed some tracks in the wet ground, something bigger having moved through, he’d maybe be able to tell what kind of animal it was if the ground had been dryer; now it was just mud. He didn’t blame the plants that were mangled in whatever creatures wake, it would be hard to grow when you were constantly being worn down. He wondered if mud was Nature giving up. 

Kakashi didn’t get much of a chance to think on it as the moment he crossed the stream he heard the distant call of hounds. He approached the first cabin and then passed it, walking until there were no cabins, he imagined just looping back around and heading back to camp, where he at least knew no one would be waiting to ask him if he was eating enough or getting enough sleep or taking care of himself or making friends with his enemies or putting all of his loved ones in danger or – 

A small figure erupted from the bushes, hands out in surprise as Kakashi’s hand moved to the knife at his side. He stared down at the blond blinking up at him with wide eyes as if he’d been caught doing something naughty. Kakashi’s hand fell back to his side.

Naruto stared up at him, frozen a moment longer before blurting out, “Winter is over!”

Kakashi felt his visible brow raise as he turned back towards the cabins. “I guess it is.”

Naruto followed behind, oddly quiet.

 

When naruto burst through the cabin door, the first thing Kakashi noticed was the heavy wet air billowing out around him. He was engulfed in warmth as he stepped inside, steam rising up and gathering around the low wooden ceiling. Across the small space he could see Kushina standing with her back to them, elbow deep in an iron wash basin, scrubbing at something. Kakashi felt his stomach constrict on nothing at all, the scene before him uncomfortable and familiar.

When Kushina turned to see her guests, the smile that crossed her face was equally familiar, and Kakashi watched as her eyes landed on him and a tightness worked its way into the look. He suddenly felt much too big for the small cabin. 

He wouldn’t stay long.

Kushina turned to her son then, voice loud as she said, “Cover your ears.” She waited until Naruto did as he was told, ignoring his pout as she turned back to Kakashi and whispered, “ You look like shit,” motioning to the table as steam rose from her damp hand.

“I’m not staying long,” he eyed the pulled out chair as if it were conspiring against him. “I have things to do.”

Kakashi pulled the letter from his pocket and handed it across the small space as he always did. Kushina took it from him carefully, tucking it into her apron and smoothing over it, as she always did.

Kakashi took the opportunity to place his pack on the tables surface, setting out a pile of odd items along with a bag of assorted vegetables from the garden.

“Tenzou sent some things with me from the garden,” he closed the pack and hoisted it back over his shoulder. “He knows you’re always looking for more things to make.”

Kushina lit up again, looking over her spoils.

“Speaking of our little gardener! He came by just yesterday, probably wanted to check in on Gai, since he and Lee haven’t had many visitors since moving out here.” She began moving things to there rightful homes, organizing as she went. “You should really stick around, we could have a visit with them.”

Her back was turned to Kakashi, but it didn’t stop him from feeling the heavy suggestion in her words.

“I can’t, I –“

“Have things to do, yes, I know.” She blew out a big breath, crying out dramatically, “When did you become such a man! Showing up whenever you want, leaving me all alone out here in the woods? Do you have any idea what it’s like out here? I feel like some evil witch hiding away, hoarding children and dogs!” 

Kakashi froze, and he felt the sharp tug of guilt as he was levelled with an unimpressed look.

“That’s not – you only have one child, and I could take the dogs, if they’re a nuisance.” He wasn’t even sure if that was the right thing to say.

Kushina huffed out a laugh. “Nah, Im just complaining. But it won’t kill you to sit and have a meal with your family.” She made herself busy then, moving across the kitchen to serve up another thick stew looking substance.

Kakashi sat at the edge of the chair, ready to leave.

Kushina looked back at him as she handed Naruto a bowl, presumably to make sure he was still there. Kakashi looks at the bowl of food placed before him with as much suspicious as he shows anything in life. Kushina slides a spoon across the rough wood and watches as it’s caught with as much disinterested precision as the preteen she use to know.

She props her chin in her hand, regarding him. Kakashi picks up the spoon.

“What’s wrong?” She smiled. “You’ve always liked my cooking.”

Kakashi placed the metal utensil down with more force than perhaps necessary, then watched the woman across from him glance back at her son. Her eyes snap back with a sturdiness that always manages to surprise him. 

Kakashi didn’t want to ‘talk about it’, he never did, and he especially didn’t want to face any of the potential judgement associated with any form of retelling of the last few days. He felt his stomach turn just thinking about it. But Kushina was relentless, and she’d force the truth out of him if he didn’t give her something else.

So he sucked in a steadying breath, and settled on, “My leg’s been bothering me; it’s nothing.”

Kushina’s face pinched, red hair falling to the side as she cocked her head, looking thoughtful. “You mean –? That was years ago, it still bothers you?” Kakashi had the feeling he chose the wrong diversion.

“It flares up every now and then, it’s just distracting.”

It had been more than distracting when it had happened. Kushina remembered Kakashi being more or less carried home by two concerned friends whose faces hurt Kushina to remember. The teen wouldn’t say what had happened, and the other two had been loyally silent as well, but Kushina could have guessed well enough that it was just another fight the boy had started. She remembered a time when it would have been terrifying and unusual for anyone under the age of enlistment to have any kind of weapon on them, but Kakashi had come home that day with an ugly deep wound in his thigh that couldn’t have been caused by anything else, still had the scar to prove it, she imagined. 

They’d started their plan for leaving the city not long after the incident.

It had been a long time ago now, she wondered why Kakashi hadn’t mentioned anything about it sooner.

She didn’t get the chance to think on it more, instead she was calling out to her son, Kakashi startling at the bark of her voice.

They watched Naruto rushing past, and Kakashi noticed the half eaten bowl of food in his hands.

“Excuse me, mister!” Naruto screeched to a vault just inside the door. Kushina looked at him like he was a changeling. “Where are you going with that?” 

The blond squinted back at her, like she was crazy. “Incase I get hungry!” 

Kushina put her hands up, placating, motioning for the boy to go, and Kakashi watched in alarm at the exchange and as Naruto ran out the door, the dogs waiting patiently outside.

He will never understand children.

“He’s a handful.” He mumbled, imagining what the hot food still sitting in front of him tasted like.

“You always say that,” Kushina smiled, “but honestly, he’s been a real chore to keep inside lately. You’d think he was making friends with every leaf on every tree with how much time he spends outside!” When Kakashi looked at her, she looked tired.

“Don’t worry,” he felt his eye narrow around a soft smile. “It’s getting nicer out, you can’t blame him. He’s always been rambunctious.”

Kushina laughed at this, and Kakashi watched as she through her head hack with the force of it.

“Wow, a few weeks around a teenager and you’re suddenly a parenting guru.” She giggled behind her hand, sobering a bit at Kakashi’s expression. 

“Getting along any better?” She rested her chin back in her hand.

_She can ask that as many times as she likes but I’m not going to –_

“No.” Kakashi wanted to breathe the word back in as his last breath and disappear. Kushina just stared at him.

“How about,” She started carefully, “ You talk, and I just, listen.” She settled back into her chair, lips pressed together like she was already trying to keep quiet.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, feeling very much the moody sixteen year old he once was. 

“I’m not a child. I don’t need to be _listened to.”_

“Funny, you use to say the same thing when you were a child.” Kushina feigned thoughtfulness, winking at him from across the table. “Also, watch your attitude, I could still kick your ass.” She paused, eyes scanning Kakashi curiously. “Maybe.” Was her addendum. 

“Tell me about Itachi.” She smiled like she hadn’t just asked. Kakashi couldn’t imagine what being married to someone like her would be like. 

Kakashi knocked his knuckles on the edge of the table.

“Well I would have said that you could probably take him,” he blew out a breath with more humour in it than he would have admitted, “But I couldn’t even manage that.” 

Kushina just kept smiling, eyes narrow and shining. “How tall is he?”

“Not very; he’s not like most of the Uchiha I’ve seen.” Kakashi thought of how small he looked stooped over the large basin.

“Is he strong?”

“He’s smart.” He remembered the canteen, remembered the teen using Kakashi’s hand to pull himself up from the floor when he was too weak to stand. Remembers underestimating him and ending up in the snow. “It makes him capable.”

“How does he move?”

He felt hands on his face, fingers running over the outline of his nose, brow, temple. Brushing the ends of his lashes, holding his jaw. If he let himself he could still feel the press at the corner of his mouth. “Gently.” 

Kakashi felt warm, wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or the memory of steam.

“And his eyes?”

Bottomless. He still remembers seeing them in the dark that first night, bright somehow, though there was no light for them to reflect. It was the only time Kakashi had seen them be anything other than black. He remembered seeing them in the light of day, thinking they would be lighter still, and being surprised when the sun made no difference. The most colour he’d seen on his face was the smudges beneath them. He hadn’t expected them to be so sharp around the edges, long drawn lines of black on black. He hadn’t noticed himself say ‘nice’ in reply. 

When Kakashi realized what he’d said, his eyes snapped up from the table to the redhead smiling back at him in the way that she did when she knew something you didn’t know. Kakashi realized he didn’t really have anything to say.

“He sounds like Mikoto.” She closed her eyes, humming softly. “She was so beautiful when we were young.” Kakashi watched her open her eyes, looking off at nothing, a tightness in her mouth that could have been a frown. “I still remember the day she told me she was engaged.”

“You knew her?” He watched her a little more closely as she nodded.

“Oh yes,” Kushina had many different smiles inside her, but this one was knew to Kakashi. “It was a different time. Mikoto and I,” She blew out a wistful sigh, “Were friends.”

Kakashi tried to imagine the severe, drawn expression of the matriarch, and found himself unable to imagine her as anybodies friend. 

He settled on, “It must have been a very different time.” 

Kushina was quiet a moment longer, caught in a day dream. 

“Not as different as you may think.”


End file.
